Delegate your ways,
fierce and devestating,
morose and impending.
Enrapture me.
Breathe in, smoke out,
piercing my dialect,
innocuous claims,
deterred only for a moment.
My heart stops.
Slow down,
take me in,
we will break apart.
Meander near,
find yourself here.
Tied to your affliction,
ceased to tame me.
The crimson I bear,
longing to remember the heat between our tangled souls.
You remain my fondest memory.

Thought I had it made,
Thought I had it coming,
Was sure I could have you,
But circumstances always change when they’re relied upon,
I faked brave for you,
Made my move,
As much as I tried,
Everything came untied,
Blamed myself for the destruction,
It must be me,
I can’t keep taking the weight on my shoulders,
How many more times will the fault be mine?


Days gone by,
Bring me closer to realization ,
I might love you,
How long will we wander separately?
You know I’m not going anywhere,
The look in my eyes is changing,
I can’t hide its growing strength,
What are we delaying for?
All the time you take,
Makes me anxious,
Close to admitting,
Fighting the impulse,
Afraid to hear your reaction,
Would you say we‘re better off this way?

In your presence,
My body numbs,
How I would like to get closer,
Could all these images in my head
Ever be real?
I do not wish to risk my chance,
And let the excitement of possibility swell,
are the thoughts in your mind stirring?
I’m getting carried away,
Take me in, fold me into you,
We could talk like strangers,
But lay like friends,
How many hearts have you broken?
Seal your confessions,
Fill me with your history,
Why do we keep meeting?
What I wish I knew,
From what your implications say,
I might not be too late,
would you save me from a callous world?
Entering without warning.

how do they find me?
it’s like a repetitious sad sorry song,
how many times will i meet the same person in one life?
make me your prisoner,
break me down until i’m at your mercy,
when will it be on my terms?
learn to let you down,
every time i try and fight,
i surrender under pressure,
wanting you to never let me go,
why do i think time might change your mind?
i’m only abdicating my power,
so tired of forever being underfoot,
why do i have to be everything to everyone?

this is how i say goodbye,
i came apart for you too many times,
i can’t stand beside you,
when you treat me so badly,
when the moment hits, you’re saying what you know i want to hear,
after i’ve given in, you toss me away like I don’t mean a thing,
i’ve seen who you are underneath,
my ears take in the stories miles long,
what you’re doing purposely,
maybe one day you’ll grow up,
show up at my door with an apology,
i feel so stupid, mistaking your lies for truth,
my hopeful heart, deceived by you,
now i’m letting you out from under my skin,
get out, get gone,
i’m going to be the first to break this habit,
burn this bridge, i’ll never cross again,
may life be good to you.

i don’t want to know you,
i wish i could take back all the feelings i wasted on you,
you don’t know what you want,
but to plow through me,
ruin my defenses,
i am vaccinated against you,
try me, see how far you get this time,
you’re every shade of wrong,
i hope you find some answers,
how’d you get so fucked up?
you weren’t that way when I knew you,
you’re not even alive,
what took ahold of you,
made you into this monster?
every time you’re begging me in the dark,
save yourself some dignity,
just leave me out of your life.

Elusive and irreplaceable,
Tender taste of your lips,
Too hazy to recall,
Maybe it’s my mind’s creation,
Maybe it’s loneliness’ urgency,
How much convincing would it take?
To pick up my phone,
What would I say to you,
Without fervency?
Would you deem me forlorn?
Can I wait to discover your thoughts of me?

how can i be in this place?
twice removed,
now i’m stepping into my old shoes,
but once it’s over,
there is no ever after,
there’s no point in holding on to something, never coming
you may be, everything to me tonight,
but tomorrow you’ll be a stranger,
it’s ridiculous to carry this false hope,
to anticipate you coming back to me,
every amber light,
i’m better off oblivious,

i have tried,
every way to be wise,
but you dig the deepest trench in me,
letting my emotions run wild as rivers,
i couldn’t come by cause i knew,
how effortlessly you weaken me into submission,

i lose my mind,
when you pull me in,
press my face to yours,
feeling how much you need me,
space becomes our enemy,
what we’ve held back escapes,
furious and sententious,

what i’d invest in you,
ready for the chance to fire away,
it’s not me, it’s the company,
i’ve expired overnight,
a taste just to remember,
what it is you’re not missing,

you’ll say what you have to,
vanish when i ask too much,
you’ve poisoned me,
led me to the edge,
and attached anchors to my feet,

i am a last resort?
the last on your list to cross?
untangle this confusion
i can’t go on presuming.

got my fix
this 4 year itch,
i keep scratching at you,
i can’t be cured,
knowing just how good it could be,
when will this midnight endeavor,
become daily routine?
i keep holding on and hoping,
but your requisiteposition keeps us apart,
i can’t contain this pleasing secret,
your destitution displayed as you devour me,
would you lie to find me here?
i can’t go back,
to who i was at the beginning,
relapse and repeat,
every chance I get,
i’m questioning my stability,
i can’t love any other,
while my heart is in your hands.

i give in to you,
because it’s all i can do,
to find myself helpless in your arms,
it’s achingly meaningful,
i’m an aid to a void,
keeping you warm,
just for awhile,
as the curtain draws,
we’re thrown back into where you and i ended,
i catch a hint of your old sweet soft spoken self,
every kiss is an apology,
one returned with longing,
this is what we will always be,
never embody more,

I remember where I went wrong,
in your presence I fell further,
time rewound to our beginning,
lightning struck the same place twice,
every passionate kiss,
every hurried breath,
memories pulling me apart,
I held it in my hands,
something pure, something real,
I left you in the background,
expected you'd stay forever,
you gave up waiting,
I don't make sense without you.

Startling to find myself alive,
For the first time in a long time,
Attributed my arise to you,
Like lightning you struck me, ignite,
After awhile the fascination faded,
Too soon we’re growing apart,
Wanted to fuse myself to you,
But your attention’s misdirected,
It used to be me,
You couldn’t get enough,
I go quiet,
Ignoring you, ignoring me,
A Speedy recovery from an addiction to my kiss,
How alone I am with you here,
Once you catch me, let me drop
Missed a step,
Reaching to lead me where we’re not ready,
Is it all you wanted?
Your honest eyes plead with me,
But your lips don’t agree.
Where is this extra attention you claim to have saved for me.

your persuasive touch,
instructing me,
the fever in our flesh,
a rise and fall,
the sense of losing it all,
a shake, a shiver,
a fresh fate delivered,
breath, soft as snow,
desirous fires ignited,
a whispered hint of the unknown,
stripped of my inhibitions.

Seeing you, when I first met you,
Something inside your eyes drawing me in,
Imagining what we could be,
You’ve evolved and parted with your ways,
You and I alike,
My mind plagued with thoughts that you wrestled,
These things I’ve thought, slipped when spoken,
I’ve been appending.
Dizzy with temptation,
ignoring the signs that
you and I might be meant to be,
we’re the only ones still standing.
I am coming home to you
The pleasure of knowing your face.

I’m sorry I’m like this,
You should know,
What you dug your hands into,
my world works in rewind,
meet you, lose you, love you,
believe me, don’t flee from me,
you had a long time ago,
lets return the past,
exchange it for new,
I promise to,
Wouldn’t you choose to?
Never thought you’d shut the window,
Maybe she’s got something to be worried about,
A crooked smile, my crooked style
I will love you even after life.

How many people have hated life?
Had no one?
I’m trying my best to be happy,
I’m faking it,
Keep breaking it,
My lonely soul,
I lost my heart to battle,
Thought I had a complacent ending,
The outlook’s bleak,
There’s no vitality,
Every mission’s failing,
Empathy befriended me,
On my own,
I get tired,
I’m getting smaller,
Where will I be?
Envy lives that I can’t live,
Stars are fading in my sky,
Almost hopeless,
Send me a reason to stay,
In this place I’m down,
Sick of struggling,
There will always be someone better.
I can’t find myself.
Mess me up a little more
Just don’t leave me hanging on for nothing.

They’re all the same story
Misadventures, mistakes,
Thieves steal hearts too,
Good luck escaping easy,
Warm nights, incandescent moments,
Never forgotten, bringing despair,
A scar can run deep on the inside,
Bleed every time you appear,
A kiss can hold such power,
Render memories as sharp as knives,
Reminiscing igniting the lost emotions,
A reminder of how alive we are,
Goodbyes we never meant,
I get so angry, it makes me sick,
But I keep it silent,
Don’t want you to know how you get to me,
I swear I’m over you,
Praying for a distracting attraction,
Somebody to save me,
From forever your fool.

I was happy,
I knew who I was,
Until you changed me,
All it took was one kiss, one lived out memory,
Every dream I had about your return,
Breathed in me,
All the emotion I thought lay dead,
Rose and possessed me,
I can’t get back to who I used to be,
My carefully planned life,
I need an answer,
An explanation, scream your reasons,
Demand what you require from me,
I can’t bear this silent treatment you’re giving me,
My pointless pining is destroying me,
Let me loose,
Cut this noose you’ve wrapped around my neck,
3 years waiting to escape,
once released, can’t be contained.

Left here,
Laying with our wasteful actions,
I should just be happy
To have your taste one last time,
But it’s never enough,
I’m hooked and I can’t stop hurting,
Angry whys,
you pretend that I don’t exist
After making it obvious you cared,
I wish you well,
Maybe one day you’ll come back,
Feeling alone,
Fearing I’ll never find someone I love as much as you,
I didn’t know passion until I looked into your eyes,
That night.

I’ve spent this time
Coming to terms
With this nothingness
I wasn’t expecting,
Harboring disappointment
After reaching out to you,
Without thinking the words came fumbling,
But I’m glad you heard,
I don’t blame you,
For not wanting me,
It’s not easy but I’m okay,
You’ve made promises to yourself,
I won’t let this weigh me down.

I lost it all once,
When you became a possibility
The heavens screamed,
Instantly my spirit soared,
I found myself swallowed by desire,
You infected me,
If you leave I will carry on,
Burying the tension inside of me,
It’s all in your hands,
You’re choosing to ignore,
I’ve been denying this sinking feeling,
But I was right,
We weren’t meant to last,
Just gave in to curiosity,
Now it’s conflicting everything,
It was nice to pretend it could be,
Life is unkind.