Sticky note poem 1.

More sketch book poems! I may have already posted these digitally, but thought I would toss these in to shake things up.

The time I spend with you in my head,
I am your mirror mirror on the wall,
projecting the image you want to see,
but your attention is only directed inwards,
inconsideration, let me dry your boots,
you've been pacing in muddy fields again.

Self-reflection was never meant to extend,
beyond the lengths you push it.
I thought the bubble would burst,
its flexibility must be boundless.

Surmounting tendencies are palpably overlooked.
I don't want to be your ego food.

Another aneurysm,
you slam dunk it down my throat.
Only too eager to dispel my theory,
blot out my increment of hope,
at a perilous moment.

Now everything has been excavated,
it that what you were after?
To stifle my song?

Inflation didn't last long.
You were armed ready with the needle.

How life can change,
from one day to the next,
each breathes different than the last.

A surprise, you might be my kind.
Reading a fresh expression in your eye,
is it the light of the ethereal moon?

The feeling fades,
as ephemeral as it dithered,
you are looking less refined,
still pleased to see me.

The tone dies transitory.
I forget to watch for your ocular exposé,
exerting an efflux of futile dialogue.
You allow the wind to carry it away,
rousing a rout.

What is the depth of the connection?
I wish I could sense it,
without gaiting back bemused.

I feel like there's some dishonesty,
in the way you speak to me,
swayed to believe what is ours is mine,
something genuine.

It must be an illusion,
you paint every charm you collect.
Remuneration for loyalty,
I see it exhibited publicly,
the special quality that subsisted and your credibility,
waned.

Something different. Since the majority of my poems are scribbled decoratively in my sketchbook or loose paper, I thought I would include it's original format, instead of boring bits of text.


In case you can't read the poem part, this is what it says:

A symposium of feeling,
make me a marionette,
tangled in thread you have tied to me,
please make your entrance,
visions that swathe,
I am eager and waiting,
trivial are the thorns embedded,
your softness is inviting.

These lines have been open,
For quite some time,
And the conversation is getting heavy,
Incinerating, like a slow coal fire,
The idea is burning in the back of my head,
Nostalgia is appetizing,
Where’s the harm when we’ve been there before?
I know all your escapades,
But it doesn’t make a difference,
Let’s disregard the consequences,
And bask/marinate in our glory,
When I need a shoulder,
You use your sleeve to dry my eyes,
Complete the cylinder,
I’ve become quarry to your intonation,
I can’t eradicate this phenylethylamine path.

I had these scribbled in my notebook from daydreaming during class, even though they stink.. at least it served its purpose!

I am not a ghost I know,
but still a hollowed existence,
I dreamed of change,
now I can't shake that eerie feeling,
I grew and became estranged,
Who am I, I ask you,
Someone so familiar must hold all the answers,
Too far from where I left myself,
Days where I fall into my old skin are few and far between,
Could it be in a language I learned?
Taken by it.
This must be some transition.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I have seen you before,
you recognize my face,
could it be I have created a lasting impression?
will you reveal yourself slowly?
can we find each other?
glimpses of sides I seek,
intangibly, uncontrolled intrigue,
synthesized with my style,
drawn in by your warmth,
resplendent resonance inside,
please keep communicating.

this is potentially unfinished...

These secrets I will never tell,
Private penchants held,
To keep just for me,
A chemistry that feeds,
Delving deeper each time we meet,
I fumble to function,
Umbrella me with your indigenous romanticity,
Qui faites ce pas?
Etch your way in,
I’m an amorist, perpetually spilling.

In the shadow of what was to come,
you followed me home,
through barriers and warning signs,
we should be wearing armor,
reigniting what began years before,
I led you from a lover’s watchful eyes,
Into seclusion,
no one can emulate our history,
a lost perception dawned,
I didn’t hesitate
with bare persuasion,
recurrent implications that never thrived,
still animate and held at the pinnacle,
possessed by necessity.

I don’t want to be spineless,
The more you reveal, the less we want to see,
Those girls frighten me,
Layering to pretend,
Bearing to conceal,
It’s all publicity,
Desperate ploys,
Extremity is effective in deprecation,
Generational loss of principles,
A cry for an apposite paradigm.
Life isn’t easy,
I refuse to be,
You have to work to get at me,
The Thickest of walls,
You have to climb,
A maze of questions,
You have to navigate correctly through
Otherwise you lose.

Truth tails consequence,
Immediate as breath on cold air,
Wouldn’t you rather know than wonder?
Recovery goes faster,
When the verdict comes in,
Words can be rewritten,
But no song is the same,
It’s impossible to remove meaning,
if it lingers in one vessel,
you rarely leave my mind,
but I’m emotionless and artic inside,
I didn’t plan it, bless its convenience,
I’m full of stuff I rejected before,
it’s bloody useless without someone to test it on,
i could desert all my belongings,
assume another name,
I have this idea to start over
To guarantee a better go.
I do not ask for what anyone else has,
A bespoke man

How can I lose my expectations?
Without them I would be relieved
of such heavy a burden,
Nothing is ever as it appears,
It is endless,
And I am endlessly disappointed,
The fog is thick,
And I keep wandering further,
Deeper into the confusion,
There is no search party,
No hope for the lost,
Vines clasped around my ankles,
There is no escape,
Faithless, what is the aim?
Turning bitter and cruel,
Dark places are ever more inviting,
I draw upon these holes for creativity,
salvation exists in the brightness of life,
so am I doomed?

I hate to think,
My mind likes you,
Drawing hearts,
Piercing arrows thread thoughts together,
I am irrevocably transcendent,
To the clouds, where I remember, all the illuminate details,
The compulsion to stay when it seemed opportune to leave,
Hesitant to disclose a clue,
In the moment I said yes,
But logic was miles behind,
It has since caught up,

If the spot continues,
My fondness might digress,
I am not a prepared opponent,
I’d rather fall into fluency

This latest one is a bit of a mish-mash that has been slowly accumulating on a sticky note!

My life has had its ass kicked.
It is incredible my lungs are still working.
that they didn't suffocate by the blood filling
my cavernous insides.

all this contextual meaning.
I abhor your contradictory character.
feigning interest until vanished,
what happened to enlightening honesty?
secret condescension
unaware until it sinks in and i feel the sting.
you can't say what i see is wrong, when it is lain out on the table.
please spare me the clarity,
lies spat clothed as viable excuses,
you're the fool remember.
fading into the walls.
it is a shame you are exactly the same shade.

I would prefer vitriolic indemnification
to this barren indolence you have given me.

i am the violin,
i just want to be rocked in your arms,
to be soothed by your song.

Why do we always need what is so out of reach?
I never know what it is I am searching for,
A drastic change from day to day,
I keep hoping I will recognize when it ambles in.
An overwhelming necessity to flee from everything.
Afraid to be bruised,
although repeatedly abused,
I have an uncomfortable urge to save the world,
but my idle hands don't know where to start.
Staying stationary is the easiest solution.
I will never wholly admit defeat.

Forgotten, you sat idle,
Waiting to implode,
A simple greeting,
My heart’s embracing,
All these notions to keep you,
Like a match stricken, you’re engaging my ignition,
Clearing venues for my eager mind to race in circles,
Nurturing inclinations,
Don’t be the failing optimist,
I’m already counting days,
All our coinciding idealities,
Concrete the setting realization.
You must oblige.

Clouds pass like roadside scenery,
I am watching out my window,
To a song that sings your name,
How much is coincidence, how much is indication?
Slowing to the pace of my racing heartbeat,
Should we spend our lives waiting?
For a moment we can seize ourselves,
A simple answer,
I want that which resonates and intrigues me.