jwoigj

Post-it Poetry

My heart is in conflict.
My mind is caught in fantasy.
You are a parade, a beautiful wave crashing through my head.
Heavy imprints, your feet leave.

I'm healing, I'm seething.
It's you I see through the debris.

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All the idle time you must have now.
So much to say, you don't deserve to hear.
Would you even pay heed?
That's right, you couldn't.
The effort that you let slip,
when your tongue swelled in your mouth.
Skewered by your silence.
I can take it.
With my endless empathy.
Where's my fucking apology?
How dare I expect you to evolve.
What a crime, to care.
Let down by all the same mistakes.
How dare I ask you to change.

I gave all I had to someone unworthy.
He spurned me.

I found comfort in another man's company.

He whispers the right words. His elegance soothes me.

I lost my inhibition in the ease of our conversation.

The heat that rises with mere insinuation.
How long I've lusted.

Tear into me with the force of languid anticipation.

This bed on fire.
Set my skin alight.
Oblige me all night.

This immeasurable manumit.

My consort in this cosmic commotion.

Lost myself in your arms,
I came to you wounded,
Found ground sturdy enough to walk upon,
Now you’re winning at killing me,
As I regain my strength, you race against me,
One day this spool will snap,
Sick in my gut,
Could this ever work?
Every pore has swelled with doubt,
But I can’t persuade my hesitant uncertainty,
Stunted, despite being a skeptic from the start,
I mistook your sincerity,
Please disprove me.

The illusory phase has faded,
a broken window that once faced a favourable future.
You’ve given up impressing me.
Lacklustre love is all that’s lingering.
Armorous amputees.
I regret sewing my lips when you upset me.
An unfamiliar need to self-suppress.
It’s a constant battle not to leave,
at the slightest sight of trouble.

You construct such heights,
a pedestal to place me.
You rupturing the structure,
slipping through the energy invested.
I want to release this hold I have on you,
but you keep me caught between clenched jaws.
Jagged teeth, rip into me.
I walked willingly, precariously,
terrified and trembling,
trying not to be angry,
in suffering the contingency that comes with leniency.
Can I bend, can I flex?
I've been resilient to give,
so spoiled and unadulterated.
Is there room in me for forgiveness?

I've collected the scraps of clumsy words from my sketchbook scrawlings. They have been adding up very slowly. Some are unfinished (and will surely remain so).



What the heart wants,
Another cannot sate.
Our timing is misaligning,
But you are worth the wait.
Our daily rite must suffice.

A new sense of satisfaction,
Instilled underneath,
A correct motion,
A reach that grasps,
Plead that it not slip,
I can feel it between my fingers,
Light and lithe,
As I wished, it was delivered,
 Persuaded by the possibility,
Practicing patience,
In a tiresome torment.

A flushing face,
Desirious delight,
A voice so vivacious,
A genuine heart,
Introductory in incandescence,
A handsome hero,
drawn from ideality,
Fluency in conversation,
You take the lead.

A descent in desire,
The fire does die,
Left with a shred of hope,
The hype could heighten,
I contest for clarity,
Muffled by my nerves
To see you observant,
So far to fall,
Assess the individual,
Is he content to coast?

 I think I’ll always be,
Shadowed by misery,
Relentlessly it hunts me,
A battle in loneliness,
Imbued by rhythmic affliction.

I wrote this while at work last night. I fixed it up a bit below!

A quick succession,

feign the fortitude,
no resilience against your unrepentant repeal.
Erasure of any trace of history,
distinct in the way you speak.
I'll bandage my heart,  restart and efface,
Leave you believing I was stronger than I could be.
Placate this raging wave.
I had to fall prey,
a humourless mistake,
to have you torture me in such a depleting way.
A lethal lashing, you unknowingly distribute.
A pitiful piercing I pursued with persistence.
Unspoken truce, affirmation received in riddles.

This cruel city has swallowed me,
I live day to day so absently.
Not mine to grieve,
yet I bereave,
near insanity.
A fusion of formality and fissure,
a chip in the bone,
a crack in the core.
Follow me phonetically.
Your face once adored, I abhor.

A salty sealant,
assail me abstractly,
a slated complacency.

It's been too long since I've written. Here's a quick one that jumped onto the page while I was listening to the lovely Dave Dixon at work. If you can't read my scratchings, I'll type it out below.

It's open season,
and I'm not feeding.
Decided to declare defeat.
It was ambitious to admire,
a person too sharp to swallow.
Replenish in recovery,
but you refute the ambulatory.
Emergent effigy,
the scope of your disease.
Dig into me, the inkless needle,
anchored to antecede,
your abnegation.

Let's make this mess.
I will become a casualty.
A heart to break,
already tread upon.
Incinerate the excitement,
buried by the benal.
I utter with urgency,
swathe me in sinuosity.
Nevermind what's been belied.
Falling for the fallactious.
Aware of what I'm in.

I’ll remain stateless,
Sated with desire,
Felt the electricity igniting between,
You facing me, couldn’t remove the gaze,
Enflamed in the intensity,
Surmounting compulsion to connect,
Your unexpected touch,
Tugging at my clothes, at my heart,
Finding the route into the rabbit hole,
Swallowed with enthusiasm,
You lit a fire that I thought I could control,
Now I’m aching in the places that you gripped.

With no promise of a future,
I tried to take it in my hands,
But I am not strong enough to resist,
I keep tripping on the way down.

I can’t understand the analysis,
the logistics of how it unfolded.
I return to the moment your lips met mine,
and the silence that followed.
Your tongue stole the words.

My inspiration took a vacation. Finally it has returned.

I walk,

while the wind blows my chest open.

I will freeze, if only to feel something,

be it pain, be it blood,

a reminder of any vivacity.

Floating adrift, irrevocably deep,

no call can beckon me.

Suspended in space,

my insides evacuated.

Let my body be barraged by rocks below.

Engraved by apostasy,

Allowing allusory ascention.

..................................................................................................

An autre.

Mountains of morose,

my sorrows can't find a home.

Traveling on my sleeve,

bared by unraveling cloth.

Naked with nowhere to go.

Prevailed permanency.

..................................................................................................

I feel the limits of my strength,

walls I relentlessly tear,

wounded by their constrictive fabric.

Making myself an enemy,

mistaking deception for sincerity.

In naivety,

I proceed as I please.

Eyes above, there is no ceiling.

Braced for the dark descent.

..................................................................................................

An olderish one that is also craptacular...

He sings in a way that soothes me,
mesmerized by the slide of his fingers,
he watches the music as it fills him,
like colours only he can see,
my bones are bared when he fixes his eyes upon me.

Words laced with logic,
a round routine I let you lead,
to sustain what I wish to maintain,
these nights so few and far between.

You publicly profess with uninhibited lips,
but suffuse much separation.

A few bits and pieces I've been working on... which are quite terrible really!

threaten to depart,
we can't afford the dwindling time,
lives spent idling,
I seek perpetual motion,
a need to ascend,
a set of standards,
if you cannot abide, fall by the wayside,
once you kill it, there is no resuscitation,
I won't spring alive,
better bury me deeply.

you've become a sucking hole,
better spent invested elsewhere,
I don't relish these games,
silent and neglectful,
hate to be ignored,
my patience worn,
feeling like a fishing line,
cast away and repetitiously reeled,
it's a cycle that leaves my body sore,
I shall serve you some.
How did this dissention come?
abhorrent irreverence.

A wretched weakness,
I must employ an army to defend,
detonate this vulnerability you've placed upon me,
an incurable curse,
a regrettable reliability,
pestilent predicament you've put me in,
forced into a corner whilst you cowardly escape.

Not so finished...


Weary and worn,
A thin existence,
I tried to revive the days you seemed alive,
But your chest has been vacant since I was a child,
I couldn’t change your despondency.
Cool and uncaring,
You fail to surprise,
With your acrimonious lines,
A speech thick with denigration,
Is this the man that’s meant to shape me?
What could I learn, instruction in revile?
Ensphered by insular certitude…

We sat in the sunlight,
I leaned into you, your gaze drifted away,
Feeling fabricated,
your invested interest,
Oversaturated and heavy,
You placated me until I was willing,

I wish I believed,
A languish pursuit,
Ill at ease,
There will be no resolve in your absence,
Only a longing to move on,

You professed you have oceanic emotions,
Overcome by the rushing sensations,
Perspective comes at a cost.

My tepid attempts at affection,
I respond in haphazard hesitancy,
Still you took me,
You came on strong,
I became transfixed.
Surfeit swelling, weakened by the need,
Shedding patience, shedding armour.

2.
Such a small inkling feeling,
A change in pace,
Enough to subsist upon,
I sense you watching me,
Cloaked in shadows,
You will fall into the sequence,
Of lives imagined and forgotten,
You will let me down,
A sickeningly sweet sound,
So elegantly off pitch,
A cortege in corridors,
I engage in perilous visions,
Malaise in moribund,
Wearing my austerity,
Surmounting part of me.

1.
At the pace we move,
Incoherent, inefficacious,
A state cirrose,
We both can’t be bothered,
Occasional endeavor,
as solicitous solitude assails,
silently assent, indocile

Subservient to your needs,
Trodden by the emission of your heat,
Meet me in Marseille,
Where aberrant, I will writhe,
Elicit sedition, elide the crowd,
Resolute in my captious charge.

My body is diseased,
Vines are strangling me,
I can feel my veins stretch,
On the verge of bursting,
When I need it most,
Sleep evades me.

Wretched twisting in my gut,
Knots rewinding,
Forgotten breath,
Where have you been hiding?

Skin is tight and raw,
Hollowing out sockets,
Bruised and black,
A thin existence,
As the sun is rising,

I’ve got the pushing, pushing on my brain,
Before we’re even acquainted,
I’ve undressed you.
The liberated marauder feeds.