Of course disappointment was here to greet me with open arms. But i'm still grinning.

Why did you choose those words so carefully?
turned clumsy and meaningless.
I tried to follow your games,
but they led me further behind than i was before,
are you doing this on purpose?
pulling me closer and pushing me away,
I thought you'd be the last one to treat me this way,
it is that easy for you?
you've never let me down like this,
I wished you'd be the first to take me in,
now i'll have to wander on my own,
it was your decision to set me free,
I refused to imagine a harsh reality,
it should've been what it was last year,
and the spring we spent,
nothing could shake us,
I ran when I discovered,
it was more than i'd ever hoped for,
now I can't go back,
how could I have let you fade?
I want what we once had,
it was always you ready to embrace,
now you've changed your mind and I need you still.

What will become of this journey home?

A new tongue to learn,
I will conform to your convictions,
if you need me to be different,
you can come in,
meandering weightless,
in tune to you,
you can play me til I bend,
I need you like you once needed me,
i'm afraid i'm much too late,
I want to belong,
tangled in your arms,
there were times you couldn't let me go,
suppress me now,
don't let me leave,
I can't bear to watch you disappear,
knowing I didn't try everything,
the dullness that leads my life without you,
you were the spark,
the moon emits your name,
my thoughts are held,
evolving around your face,
where are we supposed to be,
will I awake beside you,
or shiver in the morning still,
how did I let myself become a stranger to your heart,
will I discover what I used to see,
a soft smile to greet me.

Not bad for 5 am. Can't sleep, it's driving me crazy thinking and I can't get rid of these thoughts and worries until I can confirm the way things are.
Prolonged 3 more days. 3 more nights without sleep.

Why has everything grown so clear,
through the haze I saw you,
and I,
never felt more alive,
skin crawling with delight,
I see the side I missed,
I didn't feel before today,
3 days is too long,
when I hear my voice weak and shaking,
yours speaks to me,
I look wide,
the possibility draws me home,
haven't known a happiness,
like the one you've revealed to me,
I didn't look before I lept,
into the inception of your covet,
does it still remain,
my tortured mind repents every ill thought,
you won't ever know,
even if these words I give to you,
the jilted love I bore,
tainted your unforeseen ability to maintain my stability,
your portentuous touch,
I miss the distillation of your spirit.