You’re waving wildly and you’re frantic,
How can I fall when my heart is retracting,
I thought I could, I was sure I would,
Burning my tongue while I think about you,
Wishing that all things were simple,
I just want to sleep until this ends,
Never mean to hurt anyone,
Always works out that everyone’s alone,
I’m sorry I can’t be that person,
Spilling lies, convince reality to part,
Doomed to skip the highs of life,
I believe I’m cursed,
I know your intentions were sincere,
But suddenly the room grew crowded,
I choked on your incursion,
You tell me all these things you think I am,
I’m not sure you know what really rests inside,
Forget my face, obliterate my eyes,
It’s been done before,
You could never love someone as severed as I,
Embedded in my mind, scenes I’ll never see through,
I write the words I feel, do they ever feel them too?
It’s a sadistic cycle,
Where’s your expressive side?
This gift I exude, an attempt to defy,
Each too spineless to respond.

An abrupt secret slipped,
Wasn’t quite surprised,
Pushed to the back of my mind and it was gone,
Away from sight until you appeared,
I laughed off the accused,
But I kept truth to myself,
A smile inside when you were near,
Knowing how silent it should be,
Even as I felt it, knew it would devastate,
You can’t be right for me,
Even if I sense it,
It would decay,
Damaged hearts stay,
I could never wound you that way,

I want to be the one,
to preclude your obliteration,
laying beside you,
wishing you’d be the first to move,
how would I assess it,
if it’s the last thing I need,
but pungently longed for,

why does this exist?
Bounded by your emitting heat.
Readily weakened into submission
But inhibition always follows,
Can’t see past what keeps me hesitating.

i can see when you're talking,
and you look at me,
there's no one else,
how can i imagine you this way?
never believed i could see you in such a soft light,
scent of you behind me,
hard to admit, is this what i want,
so strange, so peculiar,
i can feel within my skin,
i'm going to run,
i don't want to ruin you,
leave you wondering if i'm ever coming back,
when i want to be alone,
i want you with me,
if i gave in,
fear would shake me,
it wouldn't be long until you've found i'd gone,
you're the one person i can't do this to,
how did i find this feeling inside?

free to choose,
where have my options gone?
can't make a simple decision,
always consequences to pay,
don't wish to base the answer,
around you,
how can i keep what i can't grasp?
i am different, and i am quite myself,
why do i crave to become,
everything so out of reach,
i offered you my hand, so subtle,
you refuse, you lose, i'm through,
climbing backwards to where the revelation hit me,
i can't retrace what we've had,
it's only me now,
i've been distracted from fixation.

I think this is the first time I’ve really opened my eyes,
Felt pain, felt beauty,
Have I told you I loved you today,
It might be the only time I’ll ever mean it
Recognizing everything I’m capable of,
I’ve never needed someone else to make me whole,
Appreciating my mistakes and who I’ve become,
Excusing my imperfections, satisfying voids with delight
smiling in pure bliss,
Finally I’ve created my own happiness.