Why do we always need what is so out of reach?
I never know what it is I am searching for,
A drastic change from day to day,
I keep hoping I will recognize when it ambles in.
An overwhelming necessity to flee from everything.
Afraid to be bruised,
although repeatedly abused,
I have an uncomfortable urge to save the world,
but my idle hands don't know where to start.
Staying stationary is the easiest solution.
I will never wholly admit defeat.

Forgotten, you sat idle,
Waiting to implode,
A simple greeting,
My heart’s embracing,
All these notions to keep you,
Like a match stricken, you’re engaging my ignition,
Clearing venues for my eager mind to race in circles,
Nurturing inclinations,
Don’t be the failing optimist,
I’m already counting days,
All our coinciding idealities,
Concrete the setting realization.
You must oblige.

Clouds pass like roadside scenery,
I am watching out my window,
To a song that sings your name,
How much is coincidence, how much is indication?
Slowing to the pace of my racing heartbeat,
Should we spend our lives waiting?
For a moment we can seize ourselves,
A simple answer,
I want that which resonates and intrigues me.

I am a professional pretender,
I have even fooled myself,
But for who’s sake?
Could we ever just be friends?
Kill this wretched chemistry?
Now it’s you or never,
I wish you would choose,
Instead of saying you’re confused.
Perhaps it’s best to forget a penchant held for someone two continents apart.
I want to be the one weakening you to your knees,
Crawling through your veins, can’t get me out,
Causing chaos in your heart,
driving you to the brink.
A hit you crave constantly,
More and more and more,
Fly a million miles to find me.
Sacrifice your life for love.
If you asked I would too.

You come in at the right time,
Conducive to my condition,
Last time I felt nothing,
But why then does this nervousness arise?
Must mean you haven’t let me go,
I’d like you to persist with a greater force,
Make it a public profession,
love me until you are barren.
May the knowledge of my departure lure the words to your lips.

I can almost feel the air change,
when you walk towards me.
It’s as though we’ve reverted back several years,
And the way you used to want me,
Here we lay as adults needing,
The romance of our youth,
What it meant and still means,
I haven’t sorted out.
And you ask me the criminal question,
“what are you thinking?”
for once the inquiry wasn’t mine.
I answer nothing in honesty,
But you suspect a lie.
I want to shred your diffidence,
Cultivated love.
I cannot be so inclined, to rely on encounters of this kind.
Only embrace the mere moments I have to swathe you.

And you joke cruelly, but I have been inoculated.
I still adore your foul mouth.
I’ll take it while your hands mat my hair.
Criticize my city and boast about your own,
I wait for an enticing invitation, to share your home.
Your ambiguous insinuations,
As we sway by stars and candlelight.
You drop the brash as tenderness takes over.
All my senses screaming.

I’ve got too much love for ghosts,
That I can’t give up,
That find me to remind me,
As soon as I start to feel better,
Even on your wedding day,
Hope burrows deeper,
Actions I refuse to take,
Messages I plot to send out into the universe,
Incase they reach you,
To teach you,
The lengths of my devotion,
To an empty ear,
I hate this place,
Inundated with memories.

I am coming home,
to a place in your arms,
wrapped snugly, safely,
I want so much to fall in love,
To find my line,
To follow it to my happiness,
I’ll always have bigger dreams,
To be everything,
I could settle with just having you,
distance is no restriction,
if we’re both willing,
our sinew is too strong to snap.

Watching the sun cast shadows,
Hibernating in my head,
This world is too vast to remain still,
All the places I could be,
Meeting all the people I could love,
But I am held,
fixed in position,
with this merciless exigency.