I was happy,
I knew who I was,
Until you changed me,
All it took was one kiss, one lived out memory,
Every dream I had about your return,
Breathed in me,
All the emotion I thought lay dead,
Rose and possessed me,
I can’t get back to who I used to be,
My carefully planned life,
I need an answer,
An explanation, scream your reasons,
Demand what you require from me,
I can’t bear this silent treatment you’re giving me,
My pointless pining is destroying me,
Let me loose,
Cut this noose you’ve wrapped around my neck,
3 years waiting to escape,
once released, can’t be contained.

Left here,
Laying with our wasteful actions,
I should just be happy
To have your taste one last time,
But it’s never enough,
I’m hooked and I can’t stop hurting,
Angry whys,
you pretend that I don’t exist
After making it obvious you cared,
I wish you well,
Maybe one day you’ll come back,
Feeling alone,
Fearing I’ll never find someone I love as much as you,
I didn’t know passion until I looked into your eyes,
That night.

I’ve spent this time
Coming to terms
With this nothingness
I wasn’t expecting,
Harboring disappointment
After reaching out to you,
Without thinking the words came fumbling,
But I’m glad you heard,
I don’t blame you,
For not wanting me,
It’s not easy but I’m okay,
You’ve made promises to yourself,
I won’t let this weigh me down.

I lost it all once,
When you became a possibility
The heavens screamed,
Instantly my spirit soared,
I found myself swallowed by desire,
You infected me,
If you leave I will carry on,
Burying the tension inside of me,
It’s all in your hands,
You’re choosing to ignore,
I’ve been denying this sinking feeling,
But I was right,
We weren’t meant to last,
Just gave in to curiosity,
Now it’s conflicting everything,
It was nice to pretend it could be,
Life is unkind.

When everything you’ve wanted
Purges through the surface
Once committed, can’t take back,
Wouldn’t want to for the world,
But when the moment ends,
Hope floats high,
If the past is just passing through,
Don’t let me believe it means anything,
I’m always going to be not quite close enough,
Vengeance is yours,
i should learn to live without ever knowing,
what a second chance could bring,
I must be the fool,
how could I have not convinced you,
an earful of longing,
succession of emotion,
dissented from your resistance,
didn’t it impact you like it did me?
Couldn’t you play it up and mean it?
Guess I was just a fix to aid your loneliness,
I won’t be satisfied until I have you
Is it harder with our history?
i only want you to give in.
so inspired and ignited,
one taste and you’re an addiction,
I don’t want to quit.
One night, goodbye
I’m just that kind of girl,
You thought it’s all I’m good for,
You’re so severe,
Maybe your scars are more permanent than forgettable,
I was easy prey.

Out of my hands,
This urgency to make my mark,
Ink in your flesh,
Don’t forget me so soon,
Haven’t had the chance to blow your mind,
Everything you said was beautiful,
But was it just a ploy?
This is a test,
you’re keeping me waiting,
wretched suspense,
hope is floating into the open sea,
you must’ve been a passing reminder,
luck can change in an instant,
return to me my muse.

Headed on a different track,
Down a new path,
Old acquaintances surfaced,
Expanding my tastes,
Curiosity wrestling my mind,
Wishing opportunities would long ago arisen,
With this space I created, there’s room for emptiness,
Feeling different, but partial to a stranger,
How can I decide when there’s no options given,
I must take my time,
Let it wash into me when it’s ready,
Anxious for something,
watching the day pass by,
there’s no train I’m not on,
please life bring me love,
invest in me,
even temporary,
a burst of vitality,
a hint at my destiny.

I've neglected my writing! But I'm back with lots of stuff!

it’s slowly exiting,
this feeling losing,
the more time you give,
the more time I crave,
my mind wandering with opportunity,
you’re loosening your grip,
I’m gaining lead,
The further you fall behind,
Afraid of being all alone,
While you’re the centre of attention
I’m counting what’s missing,
On both hands.