A despotic wind,
Compelling you,
To reach to me,
When you’ve discarded fear,
To embrace my conceit,
All in a joke to pressure you,
I’m not only wanted by one,
Separated you crave what you cannot have,
My immediacy overtakes yours,
The time you wait patiently,
Passes me in distress,
But the longer we part,
The stronger your drive to have,
Impart me with your negligence,
And your magnetism that I can’t escape,
Give me power over you,
To draw you to weakness as I please,
A phase to grow through,
If I last the tide,
will there be bliss to follow?
Is there an end to your approval?
Am I stuck at this stage?
Fending off my advance,
I’m the one who’s asking for more,
Say it with sorrow,
Force your emotions,
Show me a sign they exist,
You’re not releasing me yet,
What’s your motivation?
Don’t you know what it’s worth?
What are you using me for?
I can hold my tongue,
Leaving things unsaid,
Do you value this more than who I am?
If I pushed it would you get up and go?
A reflection of your vacancy,
But am I victim to your deception?
Unacquainted with the passion that lies inside,
Fill me with what you have in store.

Where I left my plane,
Where I took off,
How I found myself a new land to claim,
How I wished that you were with me,
All the while you were atrocious,
You held innocence,
The pieces of you that I kept,
Can’t breathe without the rest,
But I won’t revive your soul,
The impulse to tend to your cries,
Wrap my ears in silence,
So I don’t hear your voice anymore,
Our encounters I take to the grave,
This box of questions remain unanswered,
Thanks to your generous mouth,
How I hoped one day you’d show me,
What I stayed for,
What little fulfillment you allow,
What affection you saw fit,
You withdraw in the best of hours,
It’s deadening,
You come and retract,
Appear and descend,
Mend my broken mind,
Words kill meaning when conflict hits,
Make what you will with what you’re given,
There’s only one life left in me to lose.

Never knew what life had in store for me,
Struggling with love and careful with my steps,
Mistakes repeat themselves before I have the chance to intervene,
The excitement’s riding high, hoping for one returned to me,
Could this be the one I’ve been waiting for?
It would make so much sense,
I found it in the last place I looked,
We’ve both been wandering,
Searching for our break,
To find things that come with ease,
You shouldn’t have to work so hard,
At what’s meant to be,
Many sleepless nights,
I pictured myself falling from heights too high,
Convinced I’ll never know,
every emotion lies,
what am I feeling now?
so numb and fragile,
you’re so pointless now,
you make me worthless,
i’m not this person,
you mold with your bare hands,
every moment you have to spare,
you hold me until I cannot bear,
the dark solitude ahead,
I’m about to even the score,
I’ve been busy since you put me on pause,
Haven’t been waiting,
anticipating your short lived reunion,
I’ve got my list of replacements.

If I could give you one piece of advice,
stand up and go after what you want,
kuz it’s going to be gone,
if you wait too long,
I’ll be outta here,
It’s unavoidable you’re going to be lonely,
The direction you’re headed,
is set for one, you’re on your own,
is that the way you crave it?
I apologize if it’s a fault of mine,
That’s keeping you from me,
but I’m not wasting my life on impossibility,
it’s always what you turn out to be,
you lose in life what you watch walk away,
it’s the one thing that lingers in your memory,
you came to bargain but lost your gull,
contain your secrets with strict self control,
you won’t allow the speech to pass,
keeping me somewhere in the cold.

I can’t be bothered, I can’t be put up to your tests,
Making me feel as though I’m wanted,
Then throwing it all away,
Your typical dramatic flair,
Romance leads to unfulfilled desire,
flying red flags, signaling you’re much too close,
to something you fear, you will never confess,
words that should come easily,
you press into yourself,
no one will ever know you,
what your heart says,
the root of your confusion,
Why am I a part of your careless ignition?
Toss me out as soon as you get the chance,
I don’t this in my life,
I don’t want to feel like I’m never good enough for you,
Impatience driving me to anger,
I can’t take it, been carried on far too long,
i’m breaking myself off from you,
taking the world in, living without you,
deeply breathing, exalting freedom,
no longer a slave to your dictation,
too independent to be tied to your lips,
your vindictive incursions,
impurity finds me as it leaks your soul,
that’s the symbol you’ve carved,
it's not fair that you win everything.

This painstaking process
I’m saving my strength for the day I’ll need it,
To use against you,
So what if I’m emotionless,
Maybe I soak it up,
Keep it hidden, disguise it from you,
What was once forbidden I raced into,
Disobeyed unwritten laws,
Words I’d never imagined saying,
I leapt into the unknown,
You led me to believe many things,
I’ll never hold the answers to,
I want you near,
But not on your fair-weather terms,
Bring me closer to where you lie,
I haven’t felt your touch in too long,
Enrapt in this game you’ve got me surrounded,
You reveal a little more each time you feel me slip away,
I eat it up, forgetting my purpose,
Carries the blood rush to the surface.