how can i be in this place?
twice removed,
now i’m stepping into my old shoes,
but once it’s over,
there is no ever after,
there’s no point in holding on to something, never coming
you may be, everything to me tonight,
but tomorrow you’ll be a stranger,
it’s ridiculous to carry this false hope,
to anticipate you coming back to me,
every amber light,
i’m better off oblivious,

i have tried,
every way to be wise,
but you dig the deepest trench in me,
letting my emotions run wild as rivers,
i couldn’t come by cause i knew,
how effortlessly you weaken me into submission,

i lose my mind,
when you pull me in,
press my face to yours,
feeling how much you need me,
space becomes our enemy,
what we’ve held back escapes,
furious and sententious,

what i’d invest in you,
ready for the chance to fire away,
it’s not me, it’s the company,
i’ve expired overnight,
a taste just to remember,
what it is you’re not missing,

you’ll say what you have to,
vanish when i ask too much,
you’ve poisoned me,
led me to the edge,
and attached anchors to my feet,

i am a last resort?
the last on your list to cross?
untangle this confusion
i can’t go on presuming.

got my fix
this 4 year itch,
i keep scratching at you,
i can’t be cured,
knowing just how good it could be,
when will this midnight endeavor,
become daily routine?
i keep holding on and hoping,
but your requisiteposition keeps us apart,
i can’t contain this pleasing secret,
your destitution displayed as you devour me,
would you lie to find me here?
i can’t go back,
to who i was at the beginning,
relapse and repeat,
every chance I get,
i’m questioning my stability,
i can’t love any other,
while my heart is in your hands.

i give in to you,
because it’s all i can do,
to find myself helpless in your arms,
it’s achingly meaningful,
i’m an aid to a void,
keeping you warm,
just for awhile,
as the curtain draws,
we’re thrown back into where you and i ended,
i catch a hint of your old sweet soft spoken self,
every kiss is an apology,
one returned with longing,
this is what we will always be,
never embody more,