Truth tails consequence,
Immediate as breath on cold air,
Wouldn’t you rather know than wonder?
Recovery goes faster,
When the verdict comes in,
Words can be rewritten,
But no song is the same,
It’s impossible to remove meaning,
if it lingers in one vessel,
you rarely leave my mind,
but I’m emotionless and artic inside,
I didn’t plan it, bless its convenience,
I’m full of stuff I rejected before,
it’s bloody useless without someone to test it on,
i could desert all my belongings,
assume another name,
I have this idea to start over
To guarantee a better go.
I do not ask for what anyone else has,
A bespoke man

How can I lose my expectations?
Without them I would be relieved
of such heavy a burden,
Nothing is ever as it appears,
It is endless,
And I am endlessly disappointed,
The fog is thick,
And I keep wandering further,
Deeper into the confusion,
There is no search party,
No hope for the lost,
Vines clasped around my ankles,
There is no escape,
Faithless, what is the aim?
Turning bitter and cruel,
Dark places are ever more inviting,
I draw upon these holes for creativity,
salvation exists in the brightness of life,
so am I doomed?

I hate to think,
My mind likes you,
Drawing hearts,
Piercing arrows thread thoughts together,
I am irrevocably transcendent,
To the clouds, where I remember, all the illuminate details,
The compulsion to stay when it seemed opportune to leave,
Hesitant to disclose a clue,
In the moment I said yes,
But logic was miles behind,
It has since caught up,

If the spot continues,
My fondness might digress,
I am not a prepared opponent,
I’d rather fall into fluency

This latest one is a bit of a mish-mash that has been slowly accumulating on a sticky note!

My life has had its ass kicked.
It is incredible my lungs are still working.
that they didn't suffocate by the blood filling
my cavernous insides.

all this contextual meaning.
I abhor your contradictory character.
feigning interest until vanished,
what happened to enlightening honesty?
secret condescension
unaware until it sinks in and i feel the sting.
you can't say what i see is wrong, when it is lain out on the table.
please spare me the clarity,
lies spat clothed as viable excuses,
you're the fool remember.
fading into the walls.
it is a shame you are exactly the same shade.

I would prefer vitriolic indemnification
to this barren indolence you have given me.

i am the violin,
i just want to be rocked in your arms,
to be soothed by your song.

Why do we always need what is so out of reach?
I never know what it is I am searching for,
A drastic change from day to day,
I keep hoping I will recognize when it ambles in.
An overwhelming necessity to flee from everything.
Afraid to be bruised,
although repeatedly abused,
I have an uncomfortable urge to save the world,
but my idle hands don't know where to start.
Staying stationary is the easiest solution.
I will never wholly admit defeat.

Forgotten, you sat idle,
Waiting to implode,
A simple greeting,
My heart’s embracing,
All these notions to keep you,
Like a match stricken, you’re engaging my ignition,
Clearing venues for my eager mind to race in circles,
Nurturing inclinations,
Don’t be the failing optimist,
I’m already counting days,
All our coinciding idealities,
Concrete the setting realization.
You must oblige.

Clouds pass like roadside scenery,
I am watching out my window,
To a song that sings your name,
How much is coincidence, how much is indication?
Slowing to the pace of my racing heartbeat,
Should we spend our lives waiting?
For a moment we can seize ourselves,
A simple answer,
I want that which resonates and intrigues me.

I am a professional pretender,
I have even fooled myself,
But for who’s sake?
Could we ever just be friends?
Kill this wretched chemistry?
Now it’s you or never,
I wish you would choose,
Instead of saying you’re confused.
Perhaps it’s best to forget a penchant held for someone two continents apart.
I want to be the one weakening you to your knees,
Crawling through your veins, can’t get me out,
Causing chaos in your heart,
driving you to the brink.
A hit you crave constantly,
More and more and more,
Fly a million miles to find me.
Sacrifice your life for love.
If you asked I would too.

You come in at the right time,
Conducive to my condition,
Last time I felt nothing,
But why then does this nervousness arise?
Must mean you haven’t let me go,
I’d like you to persist with a greater force,
Make it a public profession,
love me until you are barren.
May the knowledge of my departure lure the words to your lips.

I can almost feel the air change,
when you walk towards me.
It’s as though we’ve reverted back several years,
And the way you used to want me,
Here we lay as adults needing,
The romance of our youth,
What it meant and still means,
I haven’t sorted out.
And you ask me the criminal question,
“what are you thinking?”
for once the inquiry wasn’t mine.
I answer nothing in honesty,
But you suspect a lie.
I want to shred your diffidence,
Cultivated love.
I cannot be so inclined, to rely on encounters of this kind.
Only embrace the mere moments I have to swathe you.

And you joke cruelly, but I have been inoculated.
I still adore your foul mouth.
I’ll take it while your hands mat my hair.
Criticize my city and boast about your own,
I wait for an enticing invitation, to share your home.
Your ambiguous insinuations,
As we sway by stars and candlelight.
You drop the brash as tenderness takes over.
All my senses screaming.

I’ve got too much love for ghosts,
That I can’t give up,
That find me to remind me,
As soon as I start to feel better,
Even on your wedding day,
Hope burrows deeper,
Actions I refuse to take,
Messages I plot to send out into the universe,
Incase they reach you,
To teach you,
The lengths of my devotion,
To an empty ear,
I hate this place,
Inundated with memories.

I am coming home,
to a place in your arms,
wrapped snugly, safely,
I want so much to fall in love,
To find my line,
To follow it to my happiness,
I’ll always have bigger dreams,
To be everything,
I could settle with just having you,
distance is no restriction,
if we’re both willing,
our sinew is too strong to snap.

Watching the sun cast shadows,
Hibernating in my head,
This world is too vast to remain still,
All the places I could be,
Meeting all the people I could love,
But I am held,
fixed in position,
with this merciless exigency.

Mass update!
Here are heaps that I have left neglected.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I am glad to see the moon tonight,
Hung high, alighting hope.

I claim that you are no longer under my skin,
But the falsity is wearing.

I can pretend to no end,
We were transient,
But my armour is lucent.

Your vision adjusted to my patina,
Resilient to my facetious comport.

I absorb everything.
I want what you share, that you refuse me.

Our ligation loosening,
wish you were a propeller.

I must polish my words.

I could exist solely for you,
So why is there this urgency to run?
Am I only frightened by the fall?
Or the wounds I’ll sustain at the end of it all?
I should trust my strength,
Open myself to possibility,
This feels different,
As scribed in the pages of fate,
And written in the stars,
How can one tell?
When the spell cast is blinding,
But you seem irrefutably sincere,
I sense the greatness in us.
Weighted in our discourse and
Ceaseless accolades.
have we inflamed the unknown?
Transpiring beyond our control?
The veracity lies in imminent times.

Saturate me with your delicacy,
I could have you this whole night through,
This splendor shared secretly,
An intimate exchange of enamour,
Patois passionné ingenuous.

Whence the sun sets,
I drink the light before night begets,
Dreaming to your tenor,
Beating thoughts in sync
our multitudinous strings,
recollecting the romance in rain,
your clairvoyance catching the lark in me,
transuding,
treading your toreutics.

10 minutes away,
from old age,
life is vastly different than I thought it would be,
I’m alive, I’m thriving,
What I mean to be,
All those things I imagined,
Aren’t so out of reach,
Could this feeling be suspended forever?
I’d hate for the shuffle to stir it,
Have it leap from my hands.

This distressing stagnancy,
I’ve let my mind distend with quixotic thoughts of you,
Make an art of articulating your adoration,
I’ll absorb it in any form,

I have been chasing reason,
Seems to run since meeting you,
Contented by your consistency,
Keep the compliments coming,
I’ll fall farther with you,
You will love me,
Deeper than any other,
Our kiss will make the world catch fire.

Hopelessly, desperately
I float, ascending to the stars,
Never so pure a brilliant feeling shone,
Blinding the rest,
Blotting out traces of dark,
We pour ourselves into novels exchanged,
Daily, consistent as dialogue,
Grounded so heavily, impossible to be exhumed.

Salivating with hunger for your subsequent epistle,
Infuse your message with affection,
Give me something to go on,
Verify my theory.
It’s too soon for me to be running up walls,
But the madness has reached my blood.
An immaculate correlation, never imagined as serene as it has been.
I am sickeningly smitten.

Is it the implausibility?
Addicted to your words,
Comfortable with the consistency,
Retraction would rupture me.
Shameful to admit your cavernous position.
You’ve generated this listless longing.
Starving me for more.

I’m waiting for you to come around,
Like it was before but I know the feelings intensified,
It seems you know just when I’m needing you most,
Always there to say the right things just when I’m losing hope,
Or when I start to lose interest,
Keeping me tied on,
No chance of escape,
I’m sick of taking your fair weather love
Whenever you call, asking me to,
How you lead me one way and leave,
I fill this void of yours while mine runs deeper,
Throw yourself into me and run after I react,
So I have to wait until you give me the go ahead,
Can’t we just coincide,
Collapse at the same time,
I’m only playing along to please you,
If you resurfaced at this moment,
You might catch me weakened,
I’m beckoning you,
Need you next to me,
I’m letting my barrier down,
Opening up to the idea,
Another night without you is torture,
It’s not fair to push me aside,
When you see me in this state.

When words disappear
I have nothing to say to you now,
You’re losing the only chance you’ll ever get,
You don’t seem worried,
So I’ll close this door I left ajar,
Kuz I can do better,
Perhaps you sense its loneliness,
Throwing rocks at your window,
All the shit I put up with doesn’t mean much to you,
If you don’t care then why should i?
You’d have to make this worth my wasted while,
It would take more effort than you’d care to impart,
So stay out of sight,
Let my anger settle,


After I kissed you,
I lost my place,
I guess you saw it coming,
But you didn’t try to stop me.

I’m leaving, leaving,
I won’t be honest and ruin you,
This uneasy situation,
You’ve been plowing me through,
His insolent maundering,
Making me the defect,
Always fault the father, unless he is you,
This obstinate presence,
We’re unable to exorcise.
You married an ignorant mendacious man,
He’s a tyranny I cannot obliterate,
Releasing disconcerting electrons,
You seem to overlook and grasp tightly to.
What compels you to stay?
To obey his manipulative coercion,
Speaking down to you.
With negated love and happiness,
Your guilt-ridden conscience
And trepidation rooted in your feet.

Make my heart pound,
Then my blood boil,
It’s push and pull,

An abrupt stop,
In this surge of feelings,

Why would you conceal,
What’s bound to be revealed?
Was I deceived? Did I misread?

Is there any purpose in supposition?
Or is this wasted time?

Intuition speaks candor,
My agonizing flummox echoes at volumes,
ears can’t detect.

Don’t shelve your stars,
Time will find you when you’re ready,
We’re all set to fall,
It never happens in anticipation,
I’ve wondered and waited too long,
I know it will catch me when my eyes are closed.

Don’t pack it in,
Give up just yet,
Fate works in mysterious ways,
Bide your time,
Instil faith,
you’re worth it,
Imbue joie de vivre,

I have learned a lesson,
Solitude bleeds you dry,
All you’ll find is sterility,

In opportune,
Your parapet appears.

You revived me,
Brought hope to light,
You turned a bad day bright,
Surprising me with your interest,
How can a distance be made shorter,
when there is an ocean in between?
The hours expired hastily,
Where can this liasion lead?
How can we stay connected?

Maybe you were sent as a sign,
But I’m hooked and I can’t quit relinquishing,
Revel in our insatiable conversation,
The ease in which you lifted me,
Rescuing me from obstacles too big to climb,
A magnificent mien,
I just drowned in,
The inexplicable chemical combustion,
That incited us.
I hope we meet again.

I don’t like these floating feelings,
Your embrace soaked with unattainable affection,
My perplexity,
Your determination to confound,
Where do I stand?
What character are you considering me for?
All these inclinations indicating,
The unfathomable,
I become a fixture,
In your unravelling,
But what unfastens you?
Silence falls between meetings,
I will see you by fates appointment.

Allowing thoughts to fester,
Emotions to sit unsettled,
If you’d ask, would I comply?
A friendship drunk on suffocated desire,
Or a deceiving smokescreen,
Commitment bound by love,
That you will not break,
Nor will you defend,
As you obscure my mind with ambiguity.

Removed myself from memory’s way,
All the sites we sunk into,

I’ve pushed all my emotions to the farthest reaches,
Stronger without knowing of your existence,

But at the mention of your name,
I falter, I fold,

Aware of how little I can do,
To reach you,

Like a spell that I’ve been put under,
Enduring only for you.