It was vague, you were there,
you were blurred in visions of heat,
it was a moment captured long ago,
came to revisit from my memory,
in this sudden haze you had me,
taken quickly I was high off the amazement hidden in your lips,
You speak to me on a new level,
as if I had dissipated,
fallen closer as a friend,
somewhere deep in my mind at night,
you transcend,
I know what you're after,
everything alters with seasons come and gone,
never will I fully let you go,
And you cross my mind, time to time,
but you've made a home here,
you keep quiet, arising sometimes,
I can never quite make up my mind,
do you leave your door open for me,
If I crawled in would you take me honestly,
But i'm aware reasons behind,
why i'm not beside you now,
they seem so unclear.

Do you wait for me to slowly melt,
into an unpleasant human condition,
so you can find some fault in me,
I was never perfect, it's obvious,
why don't you love me anyway!
I suppose i've carried on too long,
why am I still thinking it could be true,
we'd never stand a chance,
I will falter and you will fall,
have you grown so sturdy,
you tower over me,
i'm here,
i'm the one waiting for you to come around,
funny how positions flip,
I haven't yet decided, it's taken me years to get here,
to reach uncertainty,
beaten in the back of my mind,
this jury can't agree,
i'll always want you,
and to run from you,
what scares me?
do you know?
you can read my mind,
and I know yours better than my own,
you're desperate and loathing,
i'm just bitter,
let's connect!
we could destroy the world with intellect,
I don't want to cause harm,
but maybe you can offer me damage this time,
I'll admit I miss you tonight,
what was my reason,
so irrelevant now,
how could you forgive me so easily?
so cold, so cruel, so ignorant back then.
~A slight longing for the past,
the nights I was falling over,
but you were contagious, I couldn't resist,
the first true person,
embeded with my trust,
the first I want to turn to still,
all these things that live and breathe inside me,
why did I lose the moment,
was I right?
why am I still second guessing?
should I try to mend this,
would you even want me?
long after the picture faded,
silent with the sound of heavy rain,
and your kisses,
that summer night.