Wake me when you remember,
My arms are still outstretched,
Are you ignoring what sits before you?
A letter that embodies me,
If you can’t see me than I can’t be real,
As long as you can keep me a dream,
I’ve got these feet that won’t fail me,
And a love that I can’t pacify,
Even when I’ve caught the obvious,
You avoid the argument,

I am holding my breath for word from you,
Everything I hear sounds like you’re content with your life,
But whose stories are right?
Are things as happy on the inside?
The only man with steady hands,
Who embraced my passion and my pain,
I can’t turn my back these days,
You don’t know how much you’ve enriched me,

I lost the scent of you,
It’s all I had to cling to,
Now the rest is just slipping away.

This is what I’ve been longing for,
The moment you resurface,
With an invitation to respond,
But in what context are you reaching out to me?
I’m regretting everything I said,
How forceful it seems,
What’s better, you knowing? or leaving this unspoken?
I’m not delusional, I understand there is no chance for me,
How can I love you without saying,
It’s hard to be so vulnerable,
Maybe you’re a different person,
But I love who you used to be,
I can keep my secret dreams,
While I’m waiting for you to learn,
All the things that have been burning inside of me,
I can’t waste any opportunity to taste,
The beauty we once achieved.
Just one night,
To belong in your arms,
To share feelings swelling,
to express without speaking,
the adulation thats escaped these lips,

I am so cold sometimes,
I can’t love myself enough to fill the void,
I need to just be,
I’ll show you the empty side of me,
Everything I wanted is gone,
For you and me,
I think it’s too late,
To reshape what I have become,
i’m sorry it wasn’t what you wished it would be,
we all agree,
it was right to walk away,
I’ve been telling you the whole time,
Don’t run me down,
with what mess remains,
don’t fall pray to his pleas,
they rest with all his unfulfilled promises,
sometimes pain is better on the outside,
I’m drinking mine down,
He ruined a city for me,
Too harrowing to pass places sated with memories,
Why were our walls meant to crumble?
Why was it best to flee?
Left me with questions,
I’m not at ease,
Unless I’m feeling heartache,
What’s it like to live without?
I wouldn’t trade you to know.

Don’t underestimate my perception,
It’s painfully obvious,
How you’re putting it on,
Attempting to convince yourself,
Things will work themselves out,
The love has died,
Did it ever exist at all?
you keep dragging yourself along,
The undertow is heavy and it’s winning,
Your painted smile isn’t fooling anybody anymore,
The root of my skewed vision,
Can be traced to the bad decisions you believe in,
the longer you suffocate, the more you harden me,
I can't see the world the same,
Everyone's become an enemy out to damage me,
Sewn deep in my psyche,
There's no chance in hell i'll ever break free.
While your life falls apart, you lean on me,
it's impeding without reliance,
constructing an unwilling cynic,
with all this animosity I hold onto,
I hate the change i'm forced into.

In this city where I live, I am learning to appreciate what surrounds me. Being attacked by all these profound realizations, I'm taking it all in incase it should ever slip away. You are my driving force, the one who inspires me. Eliminating boundaries in my endeavors. I still think about you every day.

I found myself in a world so tainted,
I couldn’t be rescued,
Giving up on optimism,
How small a change could start,
Falling in love with a stranger,
Whose eyes met mine,
With a smile to follow.
Bringing me, the notion of possibility,
And how I could spend these days,
if only we convened.
Compelled to return the site of our connection,
I can’t live just knowing you’re alive,
Is this the face of fate?
Or am I just drawn to the unknown?
Feeling that time is wasted,
when I’m not where you are,
ask me my name,
so I’ll learn more than your demeanor,
beyond your entrancing exterior,
memorized in my mind,
I’ve never been so shaken.

One weary week is passing,
I find promise unraveling this evening,
Finally the dark is rising,
Arm yourself with a smile,
There is no need to lay down dormant,
And obliterate hope,
I am intact and I am alive,
Follow in foot,
“Don’t say it,” she said.
“Put away your prescience,
I’d rather drown in despondency.”
Words of woe, hearts I cannot sew back together,
But I’ll gather the pieces.

I'm not sure this one is finished yet, but here's what I have so far!

It’s not fair,
How you’ve kept me here,
Encased in this glass,
Where you can watch,
But far from my eyes,
I cannot catch you,
As desperate as I am to,
Out of my hands,
I am patiently pacing,
Is my existence still calamitous?
I tend to be a wind,
That disaster rides in,

In pursuit of a path,
That may lead us back,
Consulting the constellations,
For their sagacious advice,
Heed their warning,
“Don’t let this pragmatic world ruin you”

Hello hello! I hope this hasn't been previously posted, I just found this poem in a notebook and thought I would put it up since I haven't been writing much lately!

A hopeful lie,
meticulous and sly,
departing sanity,
embracing empathy,
a sad solid plot,
to drive a pair to part,
bring a loaded past to light,
reiterate me into sight,
you cannot look beyond,
what lines the surface.

I was deluded,
When it came to you,
Hallucinated a fragmentary change,
you shook me awake before I fell fast asleep,
Finally the us is over,
Weakness won’t let me slip again,
What I see,
Is a part of what I don’t want to be,
a substitute was what I withdrew,
with each inebriated kiss I stole from you.

Caught in a corner,
With impressing inspiration,
You fill me with an urgency,
I flourish like a flame,
With wild ideas attainable,
There is no productivity without pain,
You are a distant fraction of focus,
A transitory transition,
Befriending ambition,
To climb higher than you expected me,
The success I suspect in each step.

I thought I knew everything,
When I was young,
I had you and gave you up so easily,
Didn’t know what I was setting free,
Years later I come to my senses,
Suddenly I felt what I’d been missing,
Once you were out of sight,
I could never have you the way I had,
The impact of losing you,
Memories of us so vivid and bright,
Make it hard to swallow,
I need your voice,
I need your arms around me,
I can’t stand up without you,

Would you leave her if you knew?
All these ceaseless feelings that burn for you,
Isn’t this what you always wanted?
I still have a home in your heart,
Every reason I can find leaves me with hope to hold onto,
Why did you give up fighting?
Persistence pays off too late,
Now I’m waiting,
For a day that may never come,
When you realize I was the one.

Answers are emerging,
i've played out every ending,
choose our demise or resurrection,
we died long ago.

Don't speak,
it's better that I do not hear,
scrapings from the bottom of your heart,
slaughtering the last shred of hope I hold,
I am not ready to let you go,
an honest love realized much too late,
bears no relevence to you any more,
why would her lips so eagerly ask?
questions from ancient lives,
worries that plagued your mind,
why do they concern you still?
I cannot free providence,
if it begets resurgence,
all ill that escaped my mouth,
my feet did never follow.
clumsy words that misled,
a harrowing tale with no truth,
that gave you impetus for indolence.
Conditioned to lose,
I send my message to you.

I just discovered this old poem in my closet today. I must've written it a long time ago. Here it is.

We've been running smoothly with some starts and stops,
my head hasn't been hectic lately,
like a clear day, I have no thoughts but you,
when i'm seething you soothe me,
there's no love like i've found in you,
it's unexplainable,
thought I was untamable,
but I conformed to suit you in any way you please,
unbound, ready for release,
stunning like the stars,
you're catching me,
I willingly, forget my identity,
stake my claim under your frame,
live like I could die,
swallow my apathy,
how clever a disguise to hide what's inside,
but I let it bleed for you to see,
those stolen moments where I recall,
the first striking revelation,
the need for you in me.

I just deleted at least eight months of writing.. if anyone has any pieces of my book please send them to me! :(

Love means letting go,
It’s because what I feel is so real,
I will sacrifice for your happy heart,
I hope you’re pleased,
With the strength that it took,
Remember me in your next life,
something pure and wonderful,
We had that thrived inside,
Even apart,
While you sleep,
I awake and write,
Passages of memories,
These silent scenes,
Inciting pain and passion,
Free to create any conclusion,
But none as tragic as the truth

Complacency is dulling,
I am numb,
Haven’t grabbed a hold of emotion,
This isn’t really living,
Just a state of observation,
While the world blurs by,
In the center, watching the rain coming down,
Around me,
Tasteless, my nerves never were enabled,
I’ve been waiting for a moment to meet me,
Standing in this place, static in the sand,
I should bid riddance to this invisible force,
That’s suppressing the essence of me,

Could you lend me your sanity,
To fix these jagged holes,
I’ve left them unkempt for too long.

This is not okay,
it’s impossible to unravel,
What’s keeping me glued to the ground,
I can’t move,
Something is pressing me down,
I feel air escaping,
Out of my lungs,
On strike from life,
a much needed hiatus,
please pick me up,
unfold this heap of me,
I can’t break out,

With these tears may a garden grow,
Lighten my load,
Line life with a pretty row,
And with an ambient sound,

Lost my luster,
Giving into your oppression,
Now I’m sick with regret,
A case unkind,
Too many wrongs you have to right,
I’ll make it work
Against your will,

I applaud your assault,
Look at how it flattened me,
Was that the idea?
I started off so strong,
You should have realized,
I am made of diffidence,
Bared by your reticence,

This solemn strain that I have gained,
Loosens knots that I fought to keep tied.

Everything goes wrong,
Don’t say it,
Better luck next time,
Luck is a just excuse,
My tears have dried,
But I’m not calm inside,
i will crawl back into bed,
and stay until somebody drags me out,
when I hear your voice,
i know it's safe to rise from beneath the covers,
if you really cared you'd inquire,
and mop my heart up off the floor,
I tried to be reborn,
but the results just ended up the same,
send me off to the arms of anyone who'd take me,
easier than letting guilt eat away,
what have i become?
this fallen soldier,
in the battle of I against me.

i watched you fall,
and waste it all,
thought love was different,
meant to fill the hole,
but i see it's digging deeper,
creating a place for you to crawl into,
in disbelief, an end to your fake fairytale,
image is more important than the walls crumbling within.

I’ll stay up tonight,
Let you unbind my mind,
I’ve been playing scenes of you and I,
Over in my head,
When it’s lost will I know it?
Seems we’re traveling nowhere,
At the sight of you,
Losing breath, taken by a tremble,
Stronger than the first time,
I laid eyes upon you,
Still we won’t kill the space between,
How much sense are we making?

how these lacerations slip through your teeth,
what I hate in me I see in you,
this is how I nurse my wounds,
how can I change the way I feel inside?
I want to forget my existence, erase the foot prints i've made,
nothing is good, blinder is better,
wind me tight, for I am close to unraveling,
brace yourself,
a sight for pitiful eyes,
hunting myself with little resistence,
all these filthy thoughts,
you can't stop me,
when you say it,
almost giving yourself away,
never more than just a taste,
so keep your distance

i want to go,
where the broken girls go,
to feel beautiful,
where i'm living without all these vacillations,
just when I have things figured out,
you untie my pretensions with your intrinsic opposition.

I don’t know you like I used to,
As bad as I want to believe,
It just cannot be true,
You and me,
never meant to be,
I can’t hold on to you,
And spend my life waiting,
a break to alleviate the desolation I’ve sunk into,
a day that will not dawn,
you would be here if you wanted to,
I can’t harbor false hope that undying feelings slowly swell in you,
I push and I push until i find myself convinced of possibility,
I’ll let it die tonight,
Shed this skin I’ve spent too long in.

Have you exceeded your fill?
When will we hit overkill?
This emerging pause,
How do you decide?
I asked for answers,
But can’t find clarity,
this trial might expire,
will we breathe life into our desires?
afraid to implode,
will I receive you well?
Awake with you beside me?
Are our conversations growing tired?
When will you dispose of me?
The more it drags on,
The longer I’m apart from myself,
Now beguiled,
When will our destruction set in?
I am holding hope so high for you and I,
Once started impossible to stop,
Derail me, let us collide,
With two feet in,
Who will draw back first?
Your operative mouth,
Inciting images my mind impounds.

i'll take on your pain,
if it lessens the impact,
when can we help ourselves?
learn from repeated mistakes,
nightmares won't be reality,
when did the world become so ugly?
beauty can kill,
keeping our mouths shut won't solve much,
our fate can't be left in the hands of others,
one small decision could cost you your life,
what's going to make it right?
so dark, losing our sunny disposition,
what reasons do we have to maintain faith?
let love radiate,
which day will be our last?

What the fuck is wrong with people?????? I am so sad, so disgusted and so sorry to learn that a girl I remember from my home town was stabbed to death...

it's hard to shut my eyes,
when will the blood stop spilling?
how can we live amidst this madness?
safety is a false impression,
I only knew your face,
but the impact remains the same,
how can we trust?
in a sea full of secrets,
anyone is capable of anything,
someone so undeserving,
it's sickening,
how did we raise a society of psychos?
when will tragedy impart?
sorrow encapsulates our hearts.

I learn so much from your misfortune,
you're always trying to do the right thing,
maybe this time will be different,
you control your own happiness,
so choose your battles wisely,
your strength radiates,
no matter how soft you seem on the outside,
I absorb your decisions,
my watchful eye,
while he serves you vilification,
I'm seething in my skin,
I hope you'll be care free,
and find the arms you need,
ones to hold you high,
love you unconditionally,
you come with such a heavy heart.

words come so easy,
when communicating with you,
how do I act when i'm standing before you?
sometimes, I feel affinity with your wreckless ways,
mistakes I make wondering if you'll catch on,
how I worry i'd displease you,
notions I may invent,
to find you reaching out for me,
insinuate what thoughts lay poisoning my mind,
you crept up on me unexpectedly,
discerning the rules you'd bend for me.

Can I let a little lust escape?
suppression always backfires,
into the face of the beholder,
aligned with your eyes, I read what's written,
I believed I belonged with all the others,
what's intended, tell me your objective,
do you hide it well?
conclusion hasn't changed,
make me a martyr,
make innocence fade,
worth working for,
seeing light in darker things,
a sight i've discovered,
addition to your appeal,
resounding,
how could I tell if there's more to your story,
discrepancy,
transition from lonely,
a clause in motion,
maybe you'll meander with me

in my veins,
the smoke invades,
catches in my throat,
a covered get away,
with your back pressed against me,
folding and collapsing,
we're breathing and laughing,
pretend that I don't see disaster following,
allow wind to lift my regrets,
uncover insecurities,
aware of your dispositionm
still I ensued, breaking caution without heed,
take me eagerly,
one simple word swelling in meaning,
inhabit your reaction,
mirrored with my own,
steer myself from treason,
this dignity I fake.

~*~
Let it bleed,
fall to your knees,
beggars dishonesty,
the sharp blade of allure,
calling out to be captured.

wishing that you were nothing,
that I didn't care,
I could be weightless,
your touch is crushing,
you kiss could kill,
it's better to remain detached,
curiosity may deter me,
from paths I chose,
needing, knowing the strength you steal,
wrap me in safely,
so he cannot harm,
beginning ignorance,
never leave me empty, lost,
or without your arms to fasten me,
convalesce from your lashing tongue.

Left, like an open window,
unattended with thoughts of you,
where they travel, a forbidden place,
tell me your purpose for being here.
If there's a reason, set me upon it,
let it shake the ground,
in wondering, will my time ever arise?
an endless pause,
sigh in frustration,
all these actions missing attraction,
unanswered pleas,
i'd rather believe you can't read me,
how blantant in my sinful subtleties,
much to prove,
allure you in a surreptitious manner,
wanting what's never attained,
to create truth from impossibility,
we must have skipped the chase.

This one isn't finished!

Every time I find the strength to ensue the ending,
You hunt me down and drag me back,
When will permanency replace this shaking wall,
I’ve been building between us,
Where I can sleep,
Memories only make me weak,
when the room empties, isolation finds you,
reel me in, you know I’m willing
lay under the knife while you take what you need,
just enough to satisfy until another,
this repetitious repression,
every time my feet leave the ground,
you fracture my wings to keep me captive.

?

Who knew the GO train could be so inspiring!

Is it affecting you?
Left to decipher,
A code so complex,
Climbing closer,
So subtle, not to stir suspicion


all the faces I see,
heat generated by bodies,
wrapped in their tight cocoon,
water drinks us in,
we're all waiting to drown,
don't dare move,
what's thick and hanging heavy in clouds,
i'm choking in this state of stale,
wasted chances are casting glances,
seemed so serene at the beginning.

Destined to be mine,
this inclination,
such little time to rebound from the impact,
how short life appears,
adjust to your taste,
killing the image you once contained,
would this new one appease you?
tainted and delicate,
I must be awakening,
a peculiar yearning,
for something so eloquent and unfamiliar,
inviting, one hint of sweetness and i'll subsume,
incite me, starve my appetite as it swells,
once so solid, is now see through,
never confess, never define,
so close to implosion,
derived from deception.

I needed it so,
lost and lonely,
i am home,
nothing's the same,
now that you've changed,
i don't know myself,
quite different than the i with you,
seeds of hope stopped growing when it got cold,
a battle that we fight,
to forget each other,
the war which you've won,
the end of an addiction,
finding it's way out of me,
a suspension of strength,
dragging me across the floor,
hands tangled tightly,
where's the fun in simplicity?
just say this is where i'm supposed to be.

He struck me by surprise
With his piercing eyes,
Never say goodbyes,
A thin line never crossed,
But bent on my side,
Heavy in my hand,
It’s all under tongue,
Read the waste,
The pieces you left me,
To gather and bury,
When will I repeat your name,
No longer in vain.

Strip me bare,
Peel back all my layers,
When there’s nothing left,
There is only you,
my blood and bones,
wrapped around you,
listening for lightning,
waiting to strike me,
bring life alive in me,
determination to fill your empty pockets,
with pieces of me,
I have to give up and save myself,
Barren, I have become,
So weakened I must succumb.
I was hoping for a fairytale,
You can find me looking out the window,
A true skeptic,
Throwing wishes at the stars,
Perpetuate my convictions.

do feelings this strong dissipate?
after this long,
can one heart be replaced?
you seek me in dreams,
challenge me with the words I linger here for,
all my disappointments rise under the ice,
write me another letter,
send it telepathically,
steal away in the night,
i will tear open closure with my teeth,
love don't let go,
you choose mind over heart,
every safe decision,
leaves me an empty option,
placed with your discarded things.

I love my Nugs!

Sense without reason
My spiteless treason
Fall out and far below
Dining by candlelight
Saw ahead of time
Swerving to cross the line
Feel my way in the dark
With broken fingers
Tragedy impends

This would be my very own photo of Mr. City and Colour.

After taking in the beautiful man that is Dallas Green live, I was completely enthralled by his talent and presence for the remainder of the evening and most of the next afternoon. I discovered that his immaculately perfect sound could not be captured in a recording studio. I had never and probably never will again be in such awe by an incredible human being. Maya was knocked off her rocker as well. Her expectations had been blown away. We both walked out of the venue that night helplessly in love with Mr. Green. It was well worth the hour long shiver session waiting in line to get in.

So disheartened,
My chest feels vacant,
Every sound radiates in my head,
Unable to sit still,
Until I hear your voice,
My lungs are collapsing,
Barely breathing,
I am anticipating your arrival,
I’ll never see your face,
But my hopeful heart won’t rest,
I will drown in your words tonight,
Spilling off the page and creeping under my skin,
I let you invade,
Better late than never,
Tell me it’s still living inside you,
it’s what you’ve been waiting for,
all this time has just been a façade,
kept in a cage,
Let me out baby, set me right,
I feel so messed up, so out of control,
There’s no pleasure in trailing the past,
If you’re absent from the part you play.

If I don’t have you,
How will I ever know myself?
Could you come perambulating?
And I will take you in,
Return to me, you can’t stay gone forever,
What if you do?
What will become of me?
I’ll just fade into the background,
Never shine like I could beside you,
i left my heart at your last show,
a year ago september,
you rose and I fell,
she was watching,
and I’ll never hear goodbye,
the way I wanted to,
even if I fought, would I still lose?
Is it worse for us to end this way?

I am here,
Whittling away,
Giving up easy,
You were never a quick catch,
Wandering somewhere alone,
Avoiding attention,
While I’m pouring my heart into effort,
That you ignore.
Why should I bother?
you won’t throw me a reason,
Feeling so inclined to let you be,
Forget the way you make me feel,
So swollen by your misdirection.
How you’ve undermined my intentions,
As far as I can manage to get from you now,
Show me your cold shoulder,
It’ s better for me,
Sick of trying to prove,
How good I am for you,
Baby we’re done.

Don’t you see
How weighted we are?
Will love prevail this time?
Has it ever before?
I know I know
How empty you’ve felt
But if you’d let me linger,
I could fill the void,
You might be a lot to manage,
But i am stronger than perceived,
Opening and closing,
I’m counting days til we meet,
Did you find the place where you left off?
Buried under heaps of heavy sky,
I’ll dig a trench to keep you safe,
By the side of the road,
Watching speeding cars pass,
Searching for your face,
Spot lit by the sunlight,
Here you come to save me,
Flames eating at my halo,
These poisoned ideas,
You could take me to a desolate place,
I wouldn’t tell,
How typical a tale,
To kill my pragmatic legacy,
But you make my mind crawl,
Into corners I never knew hid in my head

All the contradictions,
Bled me nowhere,
Just left me lying empty,
The thoughts that meandered my way,
I’ll pass off as your confusion,
Tear yourself between misdirection,
Gun me down,
They’ll keep coursing through me,
I’m still moving,
Letters that you’ll write,
Filling up the sorrowful room,
Who’s going to read them, with as much dignity?
I held you high on a pedestal,
But stole the weight from under your feet,
Now it’s all you’ve got,
Ceaseless and unchanging,
Seizing and phasing

I wish I had known you,
When you were alive,
I would have loved you,
Shown you the reasons,
This world couldn’t have gotten on,
Without you,
Hearing your voice,
Much too late,
What drove you to leave this way?
Can you watch what’s happening,
Where you are?
Know how heavy our hearts are to carry?
I could tie yours to mine if you came back,
If you floated down to meet me,
I’ll save a place,
Every chord inspires me,
I couldn’t care more,
About your misses and arrows,
Leading me to tomorrow,
Erase the puddles that clouded your judgment,
And crowded your heart,
We could be unhappy and belong,
Rock me to sleep

I’ve lost you now,
My heart won’t sing a sad tune,
Not for you,
Underneath every hope,
My layer of misery,
Has been revoked,
I don’t feel the sting,
Every day that you’re not here,
Is one less lonely,
Steps closer to the right one,
I know what I’m searching for,
Someone to wake me with a sweet melody,
I might live a long life on my own,
but I have all I’ll ever need.

I’ve fallen in love with a song,
A face I see in photographs,
There is no future,
But this romance with his words,
My thoughts embodied,
Echo in my room,
Invading my head,
Will I meet you when I rest my eyes?
Take me to your world

My mind is so clear
With the sun in my eyes
Squinting out philosophies,
The highway brings such a sense of clarity,
Here nothing can taint my mood,
I can forget the madness of reality,
What you meant to me,
Isn’t near as impacting,
At this speed,
There is no stopping my spirit from soaring,
Why can’t I feel this way every day?
Free, running where I want to,
Remembering moments I wish I could go back to,
Meet me in my mind

Here I am with my heart on my sleeve,
Holding it out to you,
And you shut me down,
Give me reasons kuz I don’t understand,
Every sign you give me is a go ahead,
That you wouldn’t mind being mine,
But I lay my pride on the line,
Only for you to decline,
The way you look at me makes me believe differently,
Like there’s a story hiding,
Contradicting words with your actions,
I can’t count on anything but confusion,
When will this torture end?
Truths reveal themselves so I can just move past,
I’m trying so hard to show you,
Who we could be together,
But you’re shying away.
Do you embrace your darkness?
Revel in your pain?
Kuz I am the remedy,
Ready to take you somewhere you’ve never been.
I don’t know what you want from me.
All the effort that I’m making,
To save you from your sorrow,
Seems so desecrate.

How long will it take
For your heart to heal?
Loan mine out to you,
You can keep it like a secret,
if you like how it feels,
can you push aside your pain
to make room for me?
Am I wrong to assume what I see before me is real?
I can’t continue to contain myself,
On the verge of spilling everything,
And you see how untied I’ve become,
First time finding it’s not a waste of time to wait,
Guilty of giving too much to a taker,
You’re hollowed out,
But she still finds a solution to drain you dry.

Putting an end to my ambivalence
All I see is you,
and the light in my eye flickers,
knowing I’ve found you,
in a sea of unfamiliar faces,
it’s yours I long to caress,
take hold of in my hands,
the lines and creases,
I’m learning this language,
As fast as I can process,
Your elegant imperfection,
how it makes me ache to love you,
while I fall I’m afraid to let go,
incase you change your mind,
you could be mine,
what is it that imprisons you?

I might lose my mind,
With all these convictions you’re throwing,
No one knows who’s telling the truth,
How can I want more,
When I don’t know you,
Sending me fleeing for safety and sanity.
I’ll hide out until your secrets are revealed.
Stop tracing my footsteps,
Only I can be me,
You can’t breathe down my back,
And expect me to stick around.
I don’t want to pick someone up
Who’s always down.

A sordid design,
Hide it in my eyes,
To steal thoughts from you mind,
Make them my own.
One weary tear,
A collision of unkept words I swept for you my dear,
Tracing panes of long passed days,
Where I have waited.
Your careless lines echo in my ears a thousand times,
Belied tonight,
I won’t fight sleep to keep you from my dreams,
Devised a plot to invade your thoughts,
But you beat me at my own game.
I have let you wander on.
What lies will be replaced with truth?
Below the tide, time’s ticking. Grace in regression.

Delegate your ways,
fierce and devestating,
morose and impending.
Enrapture me.
Breathe in, smoke out,
piercing my dialect,
innocuous claims,
deterred only for a moment.
My heart stops.
Slow down,
take me in,
we will break apart.
Meander near,
find yourself here.
Tied to your affliction,
ceased to tame me.
The crimson I bear,
longing to remember the heat between our tangled souls.
You remain my fondest memory.

Thought I had it made,
Thought I had it coming,
Was sure I could have you,
But circumstances always change when they’re relied upon,
I faked brave for you,
Made my move,
As much as I tried,
Everything came untied,
Blamed myself for the destruction,
It must be me,
I can’t keep taking the weight on my shoulders,
How many more times will the fault be mine?


Days gone by,
Bring me closer to realization ,
I might love you,
How long will we wander separately?
You know I’m not going anywhere,
The look in my eyes is changing,
I can’t hide its growing strength,
What are we delaying for?
All the time you take,
Makes me anxious,
Close to admitting,
Fighting the impulse,
Afraid to hear your reaction,
Would you say we‘re better off this way?

In your presence,
My body numbs,
How I would like to get closer,
Could all these images in my head
Ever be real?
I do not wish to risk my chance,
And let the excitement of possibility swell,
are the thoughts in your mind stirring?
I’m getting carried away,
Take me in, fold me into you,
We could talk like strangers,
But lay like friends,
How many hearts have you broken?
Seal your confessions,
Fill me with your history,
Why do we keep meeting?
What I wish I knew,
From what your implications say,
I might not be too late,
would you save me from a callous world?
Entering without warning.

how do they find me?
it’s like a repetitious sad sorry song,
how many times will i meet the same person in one life?
make me your prisoner,
break me down until i’m at your mercy,
when will it be on my terms?
learn to let you down,
every time i try and fight,
i surrender under pressure,
wanting you to never let me go,
why do i think time might change your mind?
i’m only abdicating my power,
so tired of forever being underfoot,
why do i have to be everything to everyone?

this is how i say goodbye,
i came apart for you too many times,
i can’t stand beside you,
when you treat me so badly,
when the moment hits, you’re saying what you know i want to hear,
after i’ve given in, you toss me away like I don’t mean a thing,
i’ve seen who you are underneath,
my ears take in the stories miles long,
what you’re doing purposely,
maybe one day you’ll grow up,
show up at my door with an apology,
i feel so stupid, mistaking your lies for truth,
my hopeful heart, deceived by you,
now i’m letting you out from under my skin,
get out, get gone,
i’m going to be the first to break this habit,
burn this bridge, i’ll never cross again,
may life be good to you.

i don’t want to know you,
i wish i could take back all the feelings i wasted on you,
you don’t know what you want,
but to plow through me,
ruin my defenses,
i am vaccinated against you,
try me, see how far you get this time,
you’re every shade of wrong,
i hope you find some answers,
how’d you get so fucked up?
you weren’t that way when I knew you,
you’re not even alive,
what took ahold of you,
made you into this monster?
every time you’re begging me in the dark,
save yourself some dignity,
just leave me out of your life.

Elusive and irreplaceable,
Tender taste of your lips,
Too hazy to recall,
Maybe it’s my mind’s creation,
Maybe it’s loneliness’ urgency,
How much convincing would it take?
To pick up my phone,
What would I say to you,
Without fervency?
Would you deem me forlorn?
Can I wait to discover your thoughts of me?