Wake me when you remember,
My arms are still outstretched,
Are you ignoring what sits before you?
A letter that embodies me,
If you can’t see me than I can’t be real,
As long as you can keep me a dream,
I’ve got these feet that won’t fail me,
And a love that I can’t pacify,
Even when I’ve caught the obvious,
You avoid the argument,
I am holding my breath for word from you,
Everything I hear sounds like you’re content with your life,
But whose stories are right?
Are things as happy on the inside?
The only man with steady hands,
Who embraced my passion and my pain,
I can’t turn my back these days,
You don’t know how much you’ve enriched me,
I lost the scent of you,
It’s all I had to cling to,
Now the rest is just slipping away.
12.12.2006
11.02.2006
This is what I’ve been longing for,
The moment you resurface,
With an invitation to respond,
But in what context are you reaching out to me?
I’m regretting everything I said,
How forceful it seems,
What’s better, you knowing? or leaving this unspoken?
I’m not delusional, I understand there is no chance for me,
How can I love you without saying,
It’s hard to be so vulnerable,
Maybe you’re a different person,
But I love who you used to be,
I can keep my secret dreams,
While I’m waiting for you to learn,
All the things that have been burning inside of me,
I can’t waste any opportunity to taste,
The beauty we once achieved.
Just one night,
To belong in your arms,
To share feelings swelling,
to express without speaking,
the adulation thats escaped these lips,
The moment you resurface,
With an invitation to respond,
But in what context are you reaching out to me?
I’m regretting everything I said,
How forceful it seems,
What’s better, you knowing? or leaving this unspoken?
I’m not delusional, I understand there is no chance for me,
How can I love you without saying,
It’s hard to be so vulnerable,
Maybe you’re a different person,
But I love who you used to be,
I can keep my secret dreams,
While I’m waiting for you to learn,
All the things that have been burning inside of me,
I can’t waste any opportunity to taste,
The beauty we once achieved.
Just one night,
To belong in your arms,
To share feelings swelling,
to express without speaking,
the adulation thats escaped these lips,
10.14.2006
I am so cold sometimes,
I can’t love myself enough to fill the void,
I need to just be,
I’ll show you the empty side of me,
Everything I wanted is gone,
For you and me,
I think it’s too late,
To reshape what I have become,
i’m sorry it wasn’t what you wished it would be,
we all agree,
it was right to walk away,
I’ve been telling you the whole time,
Don’t run me down,
with what mess remains,
don’t fall pray to his pleas,
they rest with all his unfulfilled promises,
sometimes pain is better on the outside,
I’m drinking mine down,
He ruined a city for me,
Too harrowing to pass places sated with memories,
Why were our walls meant to crumble?
Why was it best to flee?
Left me with questions,
I’m not at ease,
Unless I’m feeling heartache,
What’s it like to live without?
I wouldn’t trade you to know.
I can’t love myself enough to fill the void,
I need to just be,
I’ll show you the empty side of me,
Everything I wanted is gone,
For you and me,
I think it’s too late,
To reshape what I have become,
i’m sorry it wasn’t what you wished it would be,
we all agree,
it was right to walk away,
I’ve been telling you the whole time,
Don’t run me down,
with what mess remains,
don’t fall pray to his pleas,
they rest with all his unfulfilled promises,
sometimes pain is better on the outside,
I’m drinking mine down,
He ruined a city for me,
Too harrowing to pass places sated with memories,
Why were our walls meant to crumble?
Why was it best to flee?
Left me with questions,
I’m not at ease,
Unless I’m feeling heartache,
What’s it like to live without?
I wouldn’t trade you to know.
10.08.2006
Don’t underestimate my perception,
It’s painfully obvious,
How you’re putting it on,
Attempting to convince yourself,
Things will work themselves out,
The love has died,
Did it ever exist at all?
you keep dragging yourself along,
The undertow is heavy and it’s winning,
Your painted smile isn’t fooling anybody anymore,
The root of my skewed vision,
Can be traced to the bad decisions you believe in,
the longer you suffocate, the more you harden me,
I can't see the world the same,
Everyone's become an enemy out to damage me,
Sewn deep in my psyche,
There's no chance in hell i'll ever break free.
While your life falls apart, you lean on me,
it's impeding without reliance,
constructing an unwilling cynic,
with all this animosity I hold onto,
I hate the change i'm forced into.
It’s painfully obvious,
How you’re putting it on,
Attempting to convince yourself,
Things will work themselves out,
The love has died,
Did it ever exist at all?
you keep dragging yourself along,
The undertow is heavy and it’s winning,
Your painted smile isn’t fooling anybody anymore,
The root of my skewed vision,
Can be traced to the bad decisions you believe in,
the longer you suffocate, the more you harden me,
I can't see the world the same,
Everyone's become an enemy out to damage me,
Sewn deep in my psyche,
There's no chance in hell i'll ever break free.
While your life falls apart, you lean on me,
it's impeding without reliance,
constructing an unwilling cynic,
with all this animosity I hold onto,
I hate the change i'm forced into.
10.03.2006
In this city where I live, I am learning to appreciate what surrounds me. Being attacked by all these profound realizations, I'm taking it all in incase it should ever slip away. You are my driving force, the one who inspires me. Eliminating boundaries in my endeavors. I still think about you every day.

9.30.2006
I found myself in a world so tainted,
I couldn’t be rescued,
Giving up on optimism,
How small a change could start,
Falling in love with a stranger,
Whose eyes met mine,
With a smile to follow.
Bringing me, the notion of possibility,
And how I could spend these days,
if only we convened.
Compelled to return the site of our connection,
I can’t live just knowing you’re alive,
Is this the face of fate?
Or am I just drawn to the unknown?
Feeling that time is wasted,
when I’m not where you are,
ask me my name,
so I’ll learn more than your demeanor,
beyond your entrancing exterior,
memorized in my mind,
I’ve never been so shaken.
I couldn’t be rescued,
Giving up on optimism,
How small a change could start,
Falling in love with a stranger,
Whose eyes met mine,
With a smile to follow.
Bringing me, the notion of possibility,
And how I could spend these days,
if only we convened.
Compelled to return the site of our connection,
I can’t live just knowing you’re alive,
Is this the face of fate?
Or am I just drawn to the unknown?
Feeling that time is wasted,
when I’m not where you are,
ask me my name,
so I’ll learn more than your demeanor,
beyond your entrancing exterior,
memorized in my mind,
I’ve never been so shaken.
9.28.2006
One weary week is passing,
I find promise unraveling this evening,
Finally the dark is rising,
Arm yourself with a smile,
There is no need to lay down dormant,
And obliterate hope,
I am intact and I am alive,
Follow in foot,
“Don’t say it,” she said.
“Put away your prescience,
I’d rather drown in despondency.”
Words of woe, hearts I cannot sew back together,
But I’ll gather the pieces.
I find promise unraveling this evening,
Finally the dark is rising,
Arm yourself with a smile,
There is no need to lay down dormant,
And obliterate hope,
I am intact and I am alive,
Follow in foot,
“Don’t say it,” she said.
“Put away your prescience,
I’d rather drown in despondency.”
Words of woe, hearts I cannot sew back together,
But I’ll gather the pieces.
9.21.2006
I'm not sure this one is finished yet, but here's what I have so far!
It’s not fair,
How you’ve kept me here,
Encased in this glass,
Where you can watch,
But far from my eyes,
I cannot catch you,
As desperate as I am to,
Out of my hands,
I am patiently pacing,
Is my existence still calamitous?
I tend to be a wind,
That disaster rides in,
In pursuit of a path,
That may lead us back,
Consulting the constellations,
For their sagacious advice,
Heed their warning,
“Don’t let this pragmatic world ruin you”
It’s not fair,
How you’ve kept me here,
Encased in this glass,
Where you can watch,
But far from my eyes,
I cannot catch you,
As desperate as I am to,
Out of my hands,
I am patiently pacing,
Is my existence still calamitous?
I tend to be a wind,
That disaster rides in,
In pursuit of a path,
That may lead us back,
Consulting the constellations,
For their sagacious advice,
Heed their warning,
“Don’t let this pragmatic world ruin you”
Hello hello! I hope this hasn't been previously posted, I just found this poem in a notebook and thought I would put it up since I haven't been writing much lately!
A hopeful lie,
meticulous and sly,
departing sanity,
embracing empathy,
a sad solid plot,
to drive a pair to part,
bring a loaded past to light,
reiterate me into sight,
you cannot look beyond,
what lines the surface.
A hopeful lie,
meticulous and sly,
departing sanity,
embracing empathy,
a sad solid plot,
to drive a pair to part,
bring a loaded past to light,
reiterate me into sight,
you cannot look beyond,
what lines the surface.
9.14.2006
9.13.2006
Caught in a corner,
With impressing inspiration,
You fill me with an urgency,
I flourish like a flame,
With wild ideas attainable,
There is no productivity without pain,
You are a distant fraction of focus,
A transitory transition,
Befriending ambition,
To climb higher than you expected me,
The success I suspect in each step.
With impressing inspiration,
You fill me with an urgency,
I flourish like a flame,
With wild ideas attainable,
There is no productivity without pain,
You are a distant fraction of focus,
A transitory transition,
Befriending ambition,
To climb higher than you expected me,
The success I suspect in each step.
9.01.2006
I thought I knew everything,
When I was young,
I had you and gave you up so easily,
Didn’t know what I was setting free,
Years later I come to my senses,
Suddenly I felt what I’d been missing,
Once you were out of sight,
I could never have you the way I had,
The impact of losing you,
Memories of us so vivid and bright,
Make it hard to swallow,
I need your voice,
I need your arms around me,
I can’t stand up without you,
Would you leave her if you knew?
All these ceaseless feelings that burn for you,
Isn’t this what you always wanted?
I still have a home in your heart,
Every reason I can find leaves me with hope to hold onto,
Why did you give up fighting?
Persistence pays off too late,
Now I’m waiting,
For a day that may never come,
When you realize I was the one.
When I was young,
I had you and gave you up so easily,
Didn’t know what I was setting free,
Years later I come to my senses,
Suddenly I felt what I’d been missing,
Once you were out of sight,
I could never have you the way I had,
The impact of losing you,
Memories of us so vivid and bright,
Make it hard to swallow,
I need your voice,
I need your arms around me,
I can’t stand up without you,
Would you leave her if you knew?
All these ceaseless feelings that burn for you,
Isn’t this what you always wanted?
I still have a home in your heart,
Every reason I can find leaves me with hope to hold onto,
Why did you give up fighting?
Persistence pays off too late,
Now I’m waiting,
For a day that may never come,
When you realize I was the one.
8.30.2006
8.29.2006
Don't speak,
it's better that I do not hear,
scrapings from the bottom of your heart,
slaughtering the last shred of hope I hold,
I am not ready to let you go,
an honest love realized much too late,
bears no relevence to you any more,
why would her lips so eagerly ask?
questions from ancient lives,
worries that plagued your mind,
why do they concern you still?
I cannot free providence,
if it begets resurgence,
all ill that escaped my mouth,
my feet did never follow.
clumsy words that misled,
a harrowing tale with no truth,
that gave you impetus for indolence.
Conditioned to lose,
I send my message to you.
it's better that I do not hear,
scrapings from the bottom of your heart,
slaughtering the last shred of hope I hold,
I am not ready to let you go,
an honest love realized much too late,
bears no relevence to you any more,
why would her lips so eagerly ask?
questions from ancient lives,
worries that plagued your mind,
why do they concern you still?
I cannot free providence,
if it begets resurgence,
all ill that escaped my mouth,
my feet did never follow.
clumsy words that misled,
a harrowing tale with no truth,
that gave you impetus for indolence.
Conditioned to lose,
I send my message to you.
8.19.2006
I just discovered this old poem in my closet today. I must've written it a long time ago. Here it is.
We've been running smoothly with some starts and stops,
my head hasn't been hectic lately,
like a clear day, I have no thoughts but you,
when i'm seething you soothe me,
there's no love like i've found in you,
it's unexplainable,
thought I was untamable,
but I conformed to suit you in any way you please,
unbound, ready for release,
stunning like the stars,
you're catching me,
I willingly, forget my identity,
stake my claim under your frame,
live like I could die,
swallow my apathy,
how clever a disguise to hide what's inside,
but I let it bleed for you to see,
those stolen moments where I recall,
the first striking revelation,
the need for you in me.
We've been running smoothly with some starts and stops,
my head hasn't been hectic lately,
like a clear day, I have no thoughts but you,
when i'm seething you soothe me,
there's no love like i've found in you,
it's unexplainable,
thought I was untamable,
but I conformed to suit you in any way you please,
unbound, ready for release,
stunning like the stars,
you're catching me,
I willingly, forget my identity,
stake my claim under your frame,
live like I could die,
swallow my apathy,
how clever a disguise to hide what's inside,
but I let it bleed for you to see,
those stolen moments where I recall,
the first striking revelation,
the need for you in me.
8.13.2006
7.17.2006
Love means letting go,
It’s because what I feel is so real,
I will sacrifice for your happy heart,
I hope you’re pleased,
With the strength that it took,
Remember me in your next life,
something pure and wonderful,
We had that thrived inside,
Even apart,
While you sleep,
I awake and write,
Passages of memories,
These silent scenes,
Inciting pain and passion,
Free to create any conclusion,
But none as tragic as the truth
It’s because what I feel is so real,
I will sacrifice for your happy heart,
I hope you’re pleased,
With the strength that it took,
Remember me in your next life,
something pure and wonderful,
We had that thrived inside,
Even apart,
While you sleep,
I awake and write,
Passages of memories,
These silent scenes,
Inciting pain and passion,
Free to create any conclusion,
But none as tragic as the truth
6.25.2006
Complacency is dulling,
I am numb,
Haven’t grabbed a hold of emotion,
This isn’t really living,
Just a state of observation,
While the world blurs by,
In the center, watching the rain coming down,
Around me,
Tasteless, my nerves never were enabled,
I’ve been waiting for a moment to meet me,
Standing in this place, static in the sand,
I should bid riddance to this invisible force,
That’s suppressing the essence of me,
Could you lend me your sanity,
To fix these jagged holes,
I’ve left them unkempt for too long.
I am numb,
Haven’t grabbed a hold of emotion,
This isn’t really living,
Just a state of observation,
While the world blurs by,
In the center, watching the rain coming down,
Around me,
Tasteless, my nerves never were enabled,
I’ve been waiting for a moment to meet me,
Standing in this place, static in the sand,
I should bid riddance to this invisible force,
That’s suppressing the essence of me,
Could you lend me your sanity,
To fix these jagged holes,
I’ve left them unkempt for too long.
This is not okay,
it’s impossible to unravel,
What’s keeping me glued to the ground,
I can’t move,
Something is pressing me down,
I feel air escaping,
Out of my lungs,
On strike from life,
a much needed hiatus,
please pick me up,
unfold this heap of me,
I can’t break out,
With these tears may a garden grow,
Lighten my load,
Line life with a pretty row,
And with an ambient sound,
Lost my luster,
Giving into your oppression,
Now I’m sick with regret,
A case unkind,
Too many wrongs you have to right,
I’ll make it work
Against your will,
I applaud your assault,
Look at how it flattened me,
Was that the idea?
I started off so strong,
You should have realized,
I am made of diffidence,
Bared by your reticence,
This solemn strain that I have gained,
Loosens knots that I fought to keep tied.
it’s impossible to unravel,
What’s keeping me glued to the ground,
I can’t move,
Something is pressing me down,
I feel air escaping,
Out of my lungs,
On strike from life,
a much needed hiatus,
please pick me up,
unfold this heap of me,
I can’t break out,
With these tears may a garden grow,
Lighten my load,
Line life with a pretty row,
And with an ambient sound,
Lost my luster,
Giving into your oppression,
Now I’m sick with regret,
A case unkind,
Too many wrongs you have to right,
I’ll make it work
Against your will,
I applaud your assault,
Look at how it flattened me,
Was that the idea?
I started off so strong,
You should have realized,
I am made of diffidence,
Bared by your reticence,
This solemn strain that I have gained,
Loosens knots that I fought to keep tied.
6.15.2006
Everything goes wrong,
Don’t say it,
Better luck next time,
Luck is a just excuse,
My tears have dried,
But I’m not calm inside,
i will crawl back into bed,
and stay until somebody drags me out,
when I hear your voice,
i know it's safe to rise from beneath the covers,
if you really cared you'd inquire,
and mop my heart up off the floor,
I tried to be reborn,
but the results just ended up the same,
send me off to the arms of anyone who'd take me,
easier than letting guilt eat away,
what have i become?
this fallen soldier,
in the battle of I against me.
i watched you fall,
and waste it all,
thought love was different,
meant to fill the hole,
but i see it's digging deeper,
creating a place for you to crawl into,
in disbelief, an end to your fake fairytale,
image is more important than the walls crumbling within.
Don’t say it,
Better luck next time,
Luck is a just excuse,
My tears have dried,
But I’m not calm inside,
i will crawl back into bed,
and stay until somebody drags me out,
when I hear your voice,
i know it's safe to rise from beneath the covers,
if you really cared you'd inquire,
and mop my heart up off the floor,
I tried to be reborn,
but the results just ended up the same,
send me off to the arms of anyone who'd take me,
easier than letting guilt eat away,
what have i become?
this fallen soldier,
in the battle of I against me.
i watched you fall,
and waste it all,
thought love was different,
meant to fill the hole,
but i see it's digging deeper,
creating a place for you to crawl into,
in disbelief, an end to your fake fairytale,
image is more important than the walls crumbling within.
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