Live a humble life,
meandering in melancholy,
a break in the sashay, in an artificial way.
I can't tell a story,
but I follow the strings,
they tug and tear at my heart,
a palpitating interruption,
I dug out the tincture,
a subtle strum is soothing,
the weakness is waning,
warrant of a wraith.
Everybody wants an echo,
a record to beat,
a sudatory heat.

Are you evading me?
Did I rupture the unscathed surface, of some contented plateau?
where were we traveling?
never setting foot beyond safety,
I am tired of not taking action,
but I don't want to take advantage of your ambivalence,
it frustrates me that you live between extremes, no fluctuation,
your lyrics mislead, falsifying personality.
when it's only endless flat topography.

I went home and to see my wonderful friend Veronica get hitched in Cuba over the Easter break. Some writing went down and were recorded in my travel book. Here are my thoughts as they appear.

As you can tell by the title/scribbles, I wrote this on a very bumpy bus journey.

Being outside on a beautiful day is very conducive to poetry flow.

Why not amalgamate a couple of ostracized poems that have been sitting on the sidelines!

It's all just noise,
in my ears, I can't focus,
invading my sleep,
they are getting through to me,
I've gotten so good at forgetting you exist.
Making up my mind,
then recant.
Answers while cataleptic,
this could be a disaster.
Asphyxia contigo.
Assay with a closed eye.
What is your intent?

I have it, but I will lose it as soon as..
if you don't cultivate it,
it needs attention.
Cannot expect me to carry a penchant for an unresponsive party.
I dropped the atom,
but you must be bomb-resistant.
I didn't take shelter,
slivers of skin and shrapnel.
greeted by apathy,
Your equivocality is infuriating.
Just another incision in the framework.

I miscalculated your predilection for our antiquity.

Sticky note poem 1.

More sketch book poems! I may have already posted these digitally, but thought I would toss these in to shake things up.

The time I spend with you in my head,
I am your mirror mirror on the wall,
projecting the image you want to see,
but your attention is only directed inwards,
inconsideration, let me dry your boots,
you've been pacing in muddy fields again.

Self-reflection was never meant to extend,
beyond the lengths you push it.
I thought the bubble would burst,
its flexibility must be boundless.

Surmounting tendencies are palpably overlooked.
I don't want to be your ego food.

Another aneurysm,
you slam dunk it down my throat.
Only too eager to dispel my theory,
blot out my increment of hope,
at a perilous moment.

Now everything has been excavated,
it that what you were after?
To stifle my song?

Inflation didn't last long.
You were armed ready with the needle.

How life can change,
from one day to the next,
each breathes different than the last.

A surprise, you might be my kind.
Reading a fresh expression in your eye,
is it the light of the ethereal moon?

The feeling fades,
as ephemeral as it dithered,
you are looking less refined,
still pleased to see me.

The tone dies transitory.
I forget to watch for your ocular exposé,
exerting an efflux of futile dialogue.
You allow the wind to carry it away,
rousing a rout.

What is the depth of the connection?
I wish I could sense it,
without gaiting back bemused.

I feel like there's some dishonesty,
in the way you speak to me,
swayed to believe what is ours is mine,
something genuine.

It must be an illusion,
you paint every charm you collect.
Remuneration for loyalty,
I see it exhibited publicly,
the special quality that subsisted and your credibility,
waned.

Something different. Since the majority of my poems are scribbled decoratively in my sketchbook or loose paper, I thought I would include it's original format, instead of boring bits of text.


In case you can't read the poem part, this is what it says:

A symposium of feeling,
make me a marionette,
tangled in thread you have tied to me,
please make your entrance,
visions that swathe,
I am eager and waiting,
trivial are the thorns embedded,
your softness is inviting.

These lines have been open,
For quite some time,
And the conversation is getting heavy,
Incinerating, like a slow coal fire,
The idea is burning in the back of my head,
Nostalgia is appetizing,
Where’s the harm when we’ve been there before?
I know all your escapades,
But it doesn’t make a difference,
Let’s disregard the consequences,
And bask/marinate in our glory,
When I need a shoulder,
You use your sleeve to dry my eyes,
Complete the cylinder,
I’ve become quarry to your intonation,
I can’t eradicate this phenylethylamine path.

I had these scribbled in my notebook from daydreaming during class, even though they stink.. at least it served its purpose!

I am not a ghost I know,
but still a hollowed existence,
I dreamed of change,
now I can't shake that eerie feeling,
I grew and became estranged,
Who am I, I ask you,
Someone so familiar must hold all the answers,
Too far from where I left myself,
Days where I fall into my old skin are few and far between,
Could it be in a language I learned?
Taken by it.
This must be some transition.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I have seen you before,
you recognize my face,
could it be I have created a lasting impression?
will you reveal yourself slowly?
can we find each other?
glimpses of sides I seek,
intangibly, uncontrolled intrigue,
synthesized with my style,
drawn in by your warmth,
resplendent resonance inside,
please keep communicating.

this is potentially unfinished...

These secrets I will never tell,
Private penchants held,
To keep just for me,
A chemistry that feeds,
Delving deeper each time we meet,
I fumble to function,
Umbrella me with your indigenous romanticity,
Qui faites ce pas?
Etch your way in,
I’m an amorist, perpetually spilling.

In the shadow of what was to come,
you followed me home,
through barriers and warning signs,
we should be wearing armor,
reigniting what began years before,
I led you from a lover’s watchful eyes,
Into seclusion,
no one can emulate our history,
a lost perception dawned,
I didn’t hesitate
with bare persuasion,
recurrent implications that never thrived,
still animate and held at the pinnacle,
possessed by necessity.

I don’t want to be spineless,
The more you reveal, the less we want to see,
Those girls frighten me,
Layering to pretend,
Bearing to conceal,
It’s all publicity,
Desperate ploys,
Extremity is effective in deprecation,
Generational loss of principles,
A cry for an apposite paradigm.
Life isn’t easy,
I refuse to be,
You have to work to get at me,
The Thickest of walls,
You have to climb,
A maze of questions,
You have to navigate correctly through
Otherwise you lose.

Truth tails consequence,
Immediate as breath on cold air,
Wouldn’t you rather know than wonder?
Recovery goes faster,
When the verdict comes in,
Words can be rewritten,
But no song is the same,
It’s impossible to remove meaning,
if it lingers in one vessel,
you rarely leave my mind,
but I’m emotionless and artic inside,
I didn’t plan it, bless its convenience,
I’m full of stuff I rejected before,
it’s bloody useless without someone to test it on,
i could desert all my belongings,
assume another name,
I have this idea to start over
To guarantee a better go.
I do not ask for what anyone else has,
A bespoke man

How can I lose my expectations?
Without them I would be relieved
of such heavy a burden,
Nothing is ever as it appears,
It is endless,
And I am endlessly disappointed,
The fog is thick,
And I keep wandering further,
Deeper into the confusion,
There is no search party,
No hope for the lost,
Vines clasped around my ankles,
There is no escape,
Faithless, what is the aim?
Turning bitter and cruel,
Dark places are ever more inviting,
I draw upon these holes for creativity,
salvation exists in the brightness of life,
so am I doomed?

I hate to think,
My mind likes you,
Drawing hearts,
Piercing arrows thread thoughts together,
I am irrevocably transcendent,
To the clouds, where I remember, all the illuminate details,
The compulsion to stay when it seemed opportune to leave,
Hesitant to disclose a clue,
In the moment I said yes,
But logic was miles behind,
It has since caught up,

If the spot continues,
My fondness might digress,
I am not a prepared opponent,
I’d rather fall into fluency