Why has it taken so long,
To feel like you were ever there,
I’m just as frightened as I’ve always been,
I don’t know who you are,
must have been my mistake,
never had the nerve to speak,
to tell you that I feared you most,
Never felt like I could ask you anything,
I used to blame you for my struggling,
There’s so much confusion,
All I am is another expense,
An occasional obligation,
Unaware of my substance,
any abilities I bear,
The leak in my composure,
The damage you’ve built within me,
Moments like this when I break,
You’re a stranger,
a thief to my affection,
When I’m so far it’s easy to forget,
“I love you” voided,
your distaste for the word,
only your face is familiar,
you’re an empty vessel,
I take with me only angry words to remember,
I am the bind to a life you left behind,
You taught me how to accuse,
How to run from everything that matters,
To disguise this embittered hole.