Leaving the country, leaving you behind,
i hope that in your head,
your brain keeps ticking,
like every minute without me is a nightmare,
you can't breathe, you feel the weight digging in,
your lungs are collapsing,
i look better than you remember,
than you've imagined in your mind,
falling, folding, kneeling, holding.....

This is kinda new, but I’m going to recommend some of my fav songs here. I hope you all enjoy them as much as I do. P.S – NO laughing!

Time Spent Driving – Rain on Sundays/If the Fault Fits/Sleep and Matchbooks/Flicker
Tori Amos – Siren/Northern Lad/IIEEE/Hey Jupiter
Incubus – Echo/I Miss You
Matchbox 20 – Bright Lights,
Alkaline Trio – Blue in the Face/If We Never Go Outside
Beyonce – Me, Myself & I
Bic Runga – Sway
Bright Eyes – I Watched You Taking Off
Burning Airlines – Pacific 231
Coldplay – The Scientist
Emm Gryner – Boy Races/Serenade
Fiona Apple – Never is A Promise
Garbage – Milk/Push it
Holly McNarland – Elmo/Porno Mouth/Dallas
Janet Jackson – If
Jawbreaker – Jet Black
Jets to Brazil – Sea Anemone/Sweet Avenue
Joe Budden Feat. Busta Rhymes – Fire
Julie Doiron – So Fast/The Best Thing for Me
Last Days of April – The Days I Recall Being Wonderful/I’m Calm Now/All Will Break/Slow Down
Limblifter – Ariel Vs Lotus/Tinfoil
Mad Caddies – Any song!
Madonna – Love Profusion/Material Girl/Express Yourself/Like A Prayer
Mars Volta – Concertina
Mary J Blige Feat. Eve – Not Today
Matt Good – ahh pretty much anything!
Michelle Branch – Breathe/Tuesday Morning/Are You Happy Now
Missy Elliot – Dog in Heat
Mya - Fallen (remix)
No Doubt – It’s My Life/Don’t Let Me Down
Open Hand – Time To Talk/11th Street
Sarah McLachlan – Fallen
Saves the Day – (everything off Stay Where You Are)/Hold/Tomorrow Too Late/Driving in the Dark/Wednesday the Third
Sheryl Crow – The First Cut is the Deepest/I Shall Believe
Silverchair – ANY
Sleater Kinney – Anything off “One Beat”
Rise Against – Like the Angel
Strung Out – Cemetery
Swingin Utters – Next In Line/As You Start Leaving
Taking Back Sunday – You’re So Last Summer
Tamia Feat Talib Kweli – Officially Missing You (remix)
Thursday – ANY
The Get Up Kids – Close to Me/Mass Pike
The New Amsterdams – Hanging On For Hope/Worse For the Wear

Leave me here with my remarks,
It’s a fool’s playground,
This world,
You all look the same,
Sound the same, move the same way,
Play the same games,
Brush me away, save your distaste for the next day,
None of this makes any sense,
Your defensiveness,
A little problem you can’t fix,
A little pain and you get your kicks,
How funny is it really?
Abandoning what you can’t control,
What happened to fighting for what you want?
You just sit back and watch it blow past,
Emotions unfamiliar, you’re suppressing,
Do you really think it doesn’t show?
What keeps you keep up this charade?
I’ll stay indoors and wait for you to burn in the sun,
Maybe someday you’ll discover,
Why it is you suffer so discreetly,
Not an enviable place to be,
How does it feel to deprive yourself?
I couldn’t understand anyone,
With your mentality,
Dysfunctional, fucked up,
How does it feel to be looked at like that?

I was looking for someone to waste away with,
Oh but you wouldn’t do, you wouldn’t have it,
Fooled me for awhile, but hiding’s never easy,
It all comes out after time,
Like a curse you turned out to be,
just my luck, it never changes,
So here’s the end, hope we never meet again,
No I’m not pretending, I’m really fine,
An apology would be nice,
But I would never expect so much of you,
All I really wanted was to find someone,
I could fade into, blend like the sand,
There was a home for you here,
but now there’s no room, I’m full of substitution,
someone show me the world in all it’s blazing glory,
all I need’s a smile, it can last me for awhile,
I choked on the smoke when you burnt out,
I’m not on your side,
It’s a choice you made,
I don’t have to live with the regret,
How much relief did you find?
Did you get gratification from seeing me break?

I guess truth comes to the surface eventually,
I saw the other side,
No one’s ever made me feel as worthless,
To laugh when I cry,
I’d give you a piece of my mind,
But I’m bigger than that,
You don’t deserve the breath between the words,
With no apologies,
You watched me walk out the door,
Tears and heartache on my sleeve,
How funny it seemed to you,
A confused expression,
Bewilderment in your eyes,
The answer comes in clearly,
Yeah you didn’t care,
How cold can you be?
Emotionless when I,
Thought that you weren’t hollow inside,
But you hide it well in the way you move towards me,
I tried, I gave you my best,
But the best is never enough,
Just as I accept that I,
Have let you in,
I hope you’re happy with yourself.

I poured it down my throat,
Your voice brightened every part of me,
Your laugh heightened the rise in me,
I can talk about it now,
You brought inspiration,
When I felt lost, when I felt low,
If I let you go now I might save myself,
But if I give up now I might never know,
What it would have been, what I’ve dreamt I’ve seen,
And what I’ve felt so strong, can’t be wrong,
You can’t be an illusion, leading me astray,
Something so good can’t be true,
I’m so lucky I’ve found you,
Slowly you show me,
What I’ve been hanging on to see,
You’re the focus of my thoughts,
The repetition I can’t break,
A chance I have to take,
Truth is I tried so hard to stay away,
I fought with everything I had, against my will,
But something kept me close and closer still.

Yeah I know the last few have been EXTREME cheese.. hahha i'm sawry!
He made me believe
I was capable of anything,
I met him in the bright sunlight,
When circumstances were wrong,
It all felt right,
So I continued despite,
All the lies I said to save you,
Little did she know,
Feelings would grow,
When it became too hard to hide,
I would still fiercely deny,
You make me patient,
You give me this certain energy
That makes me crazy,
Talking all night,
Arguing over who’d kick ass in a fight,
I am soaked with sentiment,
Immersed in his world,
And the bliss I can’t resist that I found in his kiss,
The less he said, the more I shed my inhibitions,
The best time of my life,
Were the days we spent laying around, laughing.

This one isn't finished yet, but i've been trying to write it forever... so here she is..
No one could have prepared me for what I’d find,
This dark storm emerging in your eyes,
I’ll never know if you really mean it.
Now that I’ve realized,
Seems trouble comes to break the moment,
I’ve tried to find it somewhere else,
Knowing once I let you in,
You will violate the great we had,
And I’d be no one again,
But you’re the sole possessor.
I’m afraid of you,
What you’re capable of,
How you could split me in two,
And I would breathlessly oblige.
How can I guarantee anything?
How can I weigh the probability?
That we’ll make it.

It’s easy to hide,
Baby I run away,
From everything,
And since I’ve found you I’ve grown stronger,
I have no excuses,
To want to leave,
i’m crawling closer,
inching my way to you,
from behind,
so you won’t know what’s coming,
before you know it’ll be too late,
soon you’ll see what you’ve been missing,
while you’ve been miles away,
I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you,
I’m scared you might not say the same,
Things have changed,
For the better it seems,
I’m not asking for anything,
I just want you,
And the days that passed,
Your proximity and our chemistry,
the way you didn’t have to say anything,
it’s inexplicable how you made me,
are you feeding me lines?
Tempting me, daring me to fold?
I have found the greatest mystery,
I will see it through,
I have to, I can’t part with you,

i can't see outside,
the sky is burning,
i'm finding easy ways to hide,
from the madness i live in,
all the feelings i have forced myself to find,
if you like it, you won't be the only one,
i've found all this time,
i can't decide how it should be spent,
it's not best for me, but it works for you,
i grin and go along,
i came here to find a piece of mine,
something i can belong to,
your stories are always shorter,
damn your logic, and sensible ideas,
my unconventional selection,
you're staying much longer than i'm accustomed to,
where is this leading, what does this mean?
does it even mean anything?
for a straying heart to grow strong,
it's funny to want what i denied endlessly,
what i never saw has blinded me incredulously.

The first version is always better,
your rough edges make you beautiful,
i cross the dividing line,
between peace and insanity,
trying to read your mind,
a death defied, my questions why,
your heart wrenching reply,
the fear you instill in me,
the possibility that i might actually lose you,
i don't feel the separation,
until i hear your name,
i'll shut you out as long as we're away,
i heard your voice on my pillow,
a whispering i could not ignore,
do i have your reasoning right?
i'd take the train to see you sleep,
listen to you breathe quietly and so slowly,
i might die if this is it,
i haven't found another with a touch like yours.

I miss you most when I’m home,
Every moment I find myself alone,
When I’m seething inside,
When I have no place to run and hide,
I force thoughts of you away,
The feelings that arise, I won’t let stay,
Won’t let myself fall weak to you,
Like I seem to,
How you get by fine without me,
But I can’t do the same,
Appetite never quite fulfilled,
Leaving me constantly craving more,
Panicked as you dance around settling down,
Will you ever be ready?
Is this as close as I’ll ever come?
Everything that’s important,
Anything that matters I’ve found in you.

I don’t find it hard to think about you,
And I’ve been lost since I met you,
It’s funny how I don’t need you,
But all the while you’re something I crave,
Feel like no one else would want me,
I’m dragging myself along the ground,
Yet when we separate, it’s like I never lived a moment in your life,
Something once significant, easily forgotten,
You’ve got me convinced I can’t get any better,
I don’t deserve more than what finds me,
You’re untouchable when you wish to be,
And I have no control, you run the show,
It’s your word over mine.
I don’t know if it’s just me seeing things this way.
I don’t want to be where I’m standing,
But I’ll never make it past misfortune,

You’re suddenly pushing us into the light,
Not keeping me in the dark,
Has it been worth the wait and strife?
Seems surreal,
When you go away,
You take it all,
I don’t believe it’s real,
You’re always saying you’ll call,
Never to be heard from,
You’re running scared from something,
I’ll never fear you won’t reappear,
I know you’ll find me, surround me soon,
I used to think we were going nowhere,
Now I see a softer light in your eyes,
When you look at me,
You linger just a little longer,
You don’t try to hide it,
I’m not fighting it anymore.
I understand,
you have your own way of showing me,
everything you mean,
I’ll stop trying to make you say it,
I feel what you won’t reveal,

I’m learning to like the slow steps you’re taking,
Just promise me I haven’t been wasting my time.

Just when you think something is over.. it comes back again.. what the F is going on!

Borrowed, stolen,
That which I was,
Misused for your strict pleasure,
Should be a crime,
You have committed, but cannot commit,
There’s a bind that’s been broken,
There’s a sad heart left behind,
But once wounded, twice as strong,
I am back on my feet,
Why are you hiding? Are you ashamed?
Now that you’ve lost me after your mistakes,
What are your excuses to make you right?
You must be hollow, you hold no remorse,
Maybe you thrive for it,
Would I know if I saw it in your eyes?
It should have lasted longer but it didn’t,
With no warning you took everything
If only the situation were reversed,
I’m not in pieces,
Without you I am fine,
It’s hard to be big about it,
It was tough getting myself around it,
You were unfair,
Then again you never cared,
One day you were happy,
Then next you were gone,
If you want me,
You must hunt me,
I’m not coming after you any longer,
Find your own way home.

I'm still in the same spirits as the last time I posted anything on this blogger. I have nothing to write about anymore. It seems all the same things just keep repeating themselves in my life. How do you write about the same thing repeatedly without sounding repetitive. Doesn't work out so well.. Seriously guys must be messed. Where does their logic come from? Do they even have any? I swear all guys are the same. So frustrating to keep meeting the exact same person only in a different body.
But whatever the circumstance, who cares I mean honestly, what difference does one person make? This probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me, but that's ok! haha.. this is my blog and you just have to deal with that fact. It would just be refreshing to know the next boy I meet won't be a jerk! I have a good feeling that he won't.. as I have met him.. and he seems pretty rawkin.. tho I have been wrong before! I'm a loser! Peace Out.

Ah, guys are such assholes!

Do you take comfort in my presence?
What if I withdrawal,
Who would you turn to?
Who would step up next in line?
It’s been slowly dying,
I’m quickly finding,
This is how it feels to be used,
You make it too easy,
To overestimate my worth,
Tell me where I fit it,
I think it’s time I go,
Leave you standing with your indecision,
Everything you sold me,
Nothing I could keep.

Gotta love those people who you've known for such a long time and don't give you any mention in their life stories yet mention someone who they've met like 5 minutes earlier. Hmmm...consider your point made!
I guess new and exciting things always come first.
Although I suppose there are arguably good reasons behind the lack of mention.. still.. it's always disappointing to discover that you're not worthy of any mention in someone who's played a relatively larger role in your life.
Even if you read this and know i'm talking about you, you probably don't care and don't agree with me. But whatever! Stuff happens.

A despotic wind,
Compelling you,
To reach to me,
When you’ve discarded fear,
To embrace my conceit,
All in a joke to pressure you,
I’m not only wanted by one,
Separated you crave what you cannot have,
My immediacy overtakes yours,
The time you wait patiently,
Passes me in distress,
But the longer we part,
The stronger your drive to have,
Impart me with your negligence,
And your magnetism that I can’t escape,
Give me power over you,
To draw you to weakness as I please,
A phase to grow through,
If I last the tide,
will there be bliss to follow?
Is there an end to your approval?
Am I stuck at this stage?
Fending off my advance,
I’m the one who’s asking for more,
Say it with sorrow,
Force your emotions,
Show me a sign they exist,
You’re not releasing me yet,
What’s your motivation?
Don’t you know what it’s worth?
What are you using me for?
I can hold my tongue,
Leaving things unsaid,
Do you value this more than who I am?
If I pushed it would you get up and go?
A reflection of your vacancy,
But am I victim to your deception?
Unacquainted with the passion that lies inside,
Fill me with what you have in store.